Seperated at Death?

The Staceys?

One of those persons in the image above is 2007 American Idol Loser Phil Stacey, but can you tell which one? Neither can I. Here are the name choices. Match the numbers of the performers with the letters on their images. I'll post the correct answers when I get around to it.

1. Max Shreck.

2. Reggie Nalder.

3.Phil Stacey.

4. Willem Dafoe.

5. Klaus Kinski.

Jon Bon Jovi Night was okay on American Idol, at least there was a sexually attractive man on the show again, for the first time since Brandon Rogers was stupidly eliminated. Sure, Little Blake and Little Chris are kind of cute, but they are boys, not Men. But think how much better the show could have been if they'd been singing songs by good song writers. Jon Bon Jovi may be more sexually attractive than John Lennon, Sir Paul McCartney, and Bob Dylan combined, but those geniuses wouldn't wipe their asses with Bon Jovi lyrics.

It was nice of LaKisha to give Jesus a night off. He is the Hardest-Working Dead Jew in God Business. He ought to get at least one week in every seven off. And wasn't it generous and supportive of eliminated contestant Antonela Barbarwhora to loan LaKisha one of her outfits to wear last night, even if she should have at least let it out a bit? That was ten gallons of vodka in a one-pint bottle. But we must be kind to LaKisha this week. She got kissed by Simon. She's suffered enough.

Little Blake amusingly simulated the sound of putting a needle on a worn vinyl record to start off his performance of a song written after the last Vinyl Tree had long since been made into a record. The children young enough to think he's hot and/or "Up-to-date" must have wondered what the hell he was doing. Vinyl? Record needles? What the Hell are they? Records are small, made of plastic, and "Record Needles" are lasers.

However, I must protest the producers having allowed eliminated, talent-free, National Joke Sanjaya Maladroit to go on again, in drag, and calling himself Jordin. It will take more than a pair of fake tits to fool me again.

I certainly hope that when the voting results are revealed in a very few hours, we will learn that that George Bush creature (Speaking of National Jokes) who went last is eliminated. What a talentless loser he is. The man makes Sanjaya look good.

On another note, the great Tom Poston passed away this week. They don't make comedy character actors better or funnier than Tom Poston, who made people laugh regularly for over 50 years. I just had the pleasure of meeting Tom once, and I didn't get the [w]hole pleasure that Suzanne was hogging all to herself, that selfish bitch! Studs like Tom are for sharing. I'm glad those seagulls gave her what-for back in Bodega Bay!

Watching Tom Poston tape a TV sit-com live was a genuine trip into Comedy Heaven. I watched Tom tape an episode of Murphy Brown once. (CBS begged me to come out of retirement and play Murphy, but I said no. Little Candy needed the work.) On almost every take, he would spontaneously invent some wildly funny ad-lib, and they would reshoot the scene with his new lines retained. (They had to reshoot because whenever Tom ad-libbed something, Candy was on the floor with hysterics.) Tom contributed so many laugh lines, he should have been credited as a writer on the episode.

Tom Poston. what a great, funny man. How outrageous that some fool named that coffee-substitute swill for him. He was the real thing.

Cheers darlings.

The Spielvogel's Clean Up In Southampton

SELLER: Carl Spielvogel and Barbaralee Diamonstein-Spielvogel
LOCATION: 27 Gin Lane, Southampton, NY
PRICE: Upon Request, but around $35,000,000
SIZE: 2.5 acres, 13,914 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 8.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: (shortened from the listing agent's website) This luxurious Gin Lane Georgian estate is sited on 2.5 acres with dramatic southwestern views across Lake Agawam and the ocean, just steps to ocean beaches. "Longview" sits majestically withing a hedged and gated property with elaborate boxwood gardens. There are 7 ensuite bedrooms, beautiful living room, dining room, garden room and library, each with fireplace and French doors...An extraordinary state-of-the-art indoor pool, spa, separate staff quarters and screening room...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Don't worry children, we had to Google them too. But we know we'd heard and read their names many times, but for the life of us could not remember why we knew the tongue twister name of Barbaralee Diamonstein-Speilvogel. Turns our Babslee is a high class go-getter society lady in New York City with an impressive biography as long as our left arm. Suffice to say Miz Diamonstein-Spielvogel is a very accomplished and bizzy woman who in addition to writing lots of books, is involved in lots of charities, organizations, and other entities that perform good works.

As for huzband Carl, he was a bigwig in the advertising game until he sold off his successful company to a much larger advertising conglomerate for a large sum of money. Then he became friendly with lots of Democratic politicians and was granted an ambassadorship. To the Slovak Republic. We're sure it's an honor to be offered an ambassadorship, but that can't be one of the better ones, right?

According to property records, in May of 2006 the very rich and social couple sold their New York City digs for $11,700,000 at 720 Park Avenue, a super swank and dig-nee-fied building on what is arguabley the best stretch of Park. But the movers didn't have far to schlep the Spielvogel's priceless antiques and family heirlooms. According to records, the couple had also purchased a 7th floor co-op in the very same building for $20,000,000.

Apparently it's not so unusual for this couple to stay in their same 'hood when they move from one luxury property to another. In September of 1998 they purchased the house shown in the above photographs on tony Gin Lane in Southampton for an even $6,000,000. This was not long after they sold their previous Southampton estate, a ocean front compound at 376 Gin Lane, in May of 1998 for $11,700,000.

And here we are less than ten years later and the Spielvogels have their Southampton manse on the market for a rumored $35,000,000. Not a bad investment, right? All those richie-rich folks who bought in the Hamptons 10 years ago are cleaning up on their investments. CLEANING UP we tell you. Even after the Spielvogel's pay the fat commission to the real estate brokerage, they're going to walk with more than $20,000,000. Somebody pick Your Mama up off the floor now.

We got not beef with the Spielvogels. But if we were shopping for a $35,000,000 weekend house, you can bet we'd want it to include a tennis court. Not that you'd ever catch us dressed all in white flinging a racket around at a tiny ball. But the guests might like to use it.

If we're being honest, we find this big ol' shingled house to be just another generic and too big Hamptons house. Sure, the location is stellar, and the gated and fully hedged flag lot ensures extreme privacy for nekkid romps through the backyard. And no doubt the house was built with an attention to detail that only the houses of the very rich are afforded. But otherwise it's just like hundreds of other shingled and too big weekend houses in the Hamptons.

What we do like is the vast expanse of lawn and the barely there landscaping. Likely it costs more than the landscaper's yearly income to water and maintain all that lawn, and it sure isn't environmentally friendly, but lahwd it's gorgeous.

If our mind serves correct, and it very well may not, this house has been on the market for quite some time. Even in the sky high real estate market of the Hamptons, where houses routinely sell in the eight figures, $35,000,000 is a lot of money for a house that may only get used 10 or 12 weekends a year.

Best of luck to Spielvogels. We'll be coming the Gin Lane properties that come on the market in the next few month in order to help you find your next weekend estate.

UPDATE: Britney Spears

The not very secret concerts in far flung locales like San Diego and Anaheim aren't the only news that Britney Spears is making this week.

Today X17 reports that every one's favorite bewigged white trash multi-millionaire single mother is once again looking at real estate in Malee-boo. Good grief, here we go again. We just don't know if we can stomach another round of Britney's fickle relationship to the real estate.

The house X17 reports Brit Brit looked at with her cuzzin Alli this last weekend is the very same house we discussed some time back that is currently owned by Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman Jane Seymour.

If y'all recall, the 7 bedroom, 6 bathroom house sits on six acres with lovely views of the Pacific and had long been owned by troubled actor Stacy Keach, who happens to be Seymour's brother in law. The Winding Way estate had fallen into a state of severe shabby, so Seymour and huzband James Keach stepped in, purchased the house, put A LOT of money into renovating the place, and popped it up on the market for $12,995,000.

Recently he house appeared to have found a buyer and disappeared from the MLS. But Last week it popped back up at the same list price. Rather than purchase the house, X17 reports that their sources tell them Brit Brit is looking to possibly lease the place at a whopping $40,000 per month.

Does this mean Spears sold the Bev Hills house? Does this mean a buyer has been found for the Serra Retreat house in Malee-boo? Or does this just mean she's unwisely upping her mammoth monthly nut by renting (or buying) another very expensive piece of real estate? Your Mama hopes it's a lease because between her bad real estate juju and the swimming pool in the front yard, she might have trouble unloading this place when she gets tahred of it...and we all know she will.

Heaven help us all as we are once again swept up into Brit Brit's chaotic world of merry go round houses.

Sources: X17