UPDATE: Vincent Gallo

Last week we linked over to a fascinating story on RADAR about the Wolffe House, the spectacular and sexy John Lautner designed house that weirdo actor Vincent Gallo recently put on the market for $5,995,000. Your Mama was subsequently contacted by the Tooth Fairy who gave us some additional information about the unlikely real estate mogul and the Wolffe House.

The Tooth Fairy claims to have been inside and know the Wolffe house well. And although he would "rob a bank" to own the place, he does not feel it's worth risking prison for the current price. The Tooth Fairy tells us something that property records do not reflect: that the house traded several times in quick succession before Gallo got his mitts on the place. First at $3.8 million, then at $4.2 million, and then to Gallo at $4.6 million. We are unable to verify those purchases or those sale prices, so please, children, understand that we have not laid down the gospel there.

It appears that crazy eyed Vincent always intended to flip the property. After purchasing, he quickly had the place covered by the Mills Act. Not only does this give the house a certain validation of architectural importance, it also gives the homeowner a significant break in taxes, up to 50%, in exchange for restrictions on the sorts of alterations and modifications that can be made to the house.

Once the place was covered by the Mills Act, the Tooth Fairy tells us Gallo tried to flip the place for $5.2 million. But, there were no takers for the pedigreed property. So he took the place off the sales market.

But, the kooky artist/actor who notoriously tried to sell his baby making juice on the internet for a million bucks, then trid to rent the place for fifty grand a month, a price that included the uber expensive furniture and a housekeeper. There were no takers for the rental, but it is still being offered at that price, so if you've got money to burn and an unwavering need to live in a Lautner for a short peeriod of time, give Mister Vincent a call.

Then, as we all know, the house was put back on the market, but this time with an even higher asking price of $5,995,000. Time will tell if this place will find a buyer...we sorta thought it would as it's gor-gee-us and pedigreed, but it seems like the modernism buyers in Los Angeles are a bit wary of that huge price.

Now children, we're going to shift gears here and go over to the Sierra Towers apartment building, where it so happens that Miss Lindsay Lohan bunks down when she's not getting clean at one rehab or another. Poor thing, bless her little heart. Last year Mister Vincent received a lot of press for selling a 1 bedroom, 26th floor unit at the Sierra Towers to cosmetic surgery junkie Cher for a staggering $4,500,000. Remember that babies? Well, the Tooth Fairy tells us that was not the only unit Gallo owned in the building. According to a lady friend of the Tooth Fairy, who was doing the dirty with the well endowed actor at the time, Gallo owned two additional apartments in the celeb friendly building. And sure enough, property records reveal that Gallo owned two units on the 8th floor. Both of these units have also been sold.

We expect to be hearing more from this unlikely real estate tycoon and we'll do our best to keep all the children informed and educated and he works his way though the LA real estate scene like a money making typhoon.

Joely Fisher's Indo-Asian Freak Out in Encino

SELLER: Joely Fisher and Christopher Duddy
LOCATION: Garvin Drive, Encino, CA
PRICE: $4,750,000
SIZE: 3,477, 4 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Discover this Mid-Century single story Zen-Craftsman, moments from Mulhollan w/ sweeping views on almost three-quarters of an acre. Off cul-de-sac, up a private rd, to gated motor court with abundant prking complete w/fire pit. Liv rm is detailed by stone flrs & wd beamed ceil. Grmt kit w/stainless steel applncs & pantry. Mst w/walk-in closet, bath w/steam shwr, spa tub & views 2 meditation grdn. 2 gst quarters, one house the hm theater complete w/THX sound. Saline pool, authentic cabana frm India, & lrg lush yard.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Wowee! Seldom do we see a house so completely and thoroughly theme decorated. This place has so many Tibetan antiques, Indian artifacts, and pillows made out of fabric that resembles prayer flags tha the Dalai Lama could move right in to this house and not for a minute know he was in the San Fernando Valley. But this house does not belong to the Dalai Lama. No. It's owned by character ack-tress Joely Fisher and her cinematographer husband Chris Duddy. In case y'all don't know, Joely Fisher is the daughter of deadbeat dad Eddie Fisher (now happily reconciled) and the one time sex siren Connie Stevens. Parents like that make Miz Fisher Hollywood royalty.

Let's discuss the mama for a moment. Did y'all know that largely due to her Forever Spring line of cosmetics, that Miz Connie Stevens is widely considered to be one of the wealthiest women in Hollywood? According to the company website, earnings from sales on the the Home Shopping Network alone have grossed over 1 billion dollars. Yes, that's correct, we said billion. Bill-ee-ohn. So not only did Miz Connie know how to sing and preen her way to the top of the Hollywood ladder, she developed into a very smart and savvy bizness lady to boot.

Little Miss Joely Fisher grew up as a typical, even cliche, child of Hollywood celebrities...without much supervision and way too fast. She dabbled in drugs, wasn't always sure who her mama was bringing home to the big mansion on Delfern Drive, and wound up with an eating disorder. So typical. For the record, we aren't trying to paint Miz Connie in any sort of negative light. The single lady had to bring home the bacon to support her two children and she is to be commended for doing so all the while paying the mortgage on her huge house in Beverly Hills.

What is perhaps not so typical about little Miss Joely however, is that the born and bred Beverly Hills babe pulled herself up by her bootstraps and fought her way to a respectable television career. Most recently she's been starring opposite the very tall Brad Garrett in a sit-com called Til Death... But you may also remember her from her stint on Ellen (the sit-com, not the talk show) back in the mid-1990s. In 2006, while preggers and in possession of an insanely huge pair of boobs, she did a flawless turn on Desperate Housewives as Felicity Huffman's uptight and bitchy boss. Remember that kids? Good stuff.

Married to grey haired cinematographer Christopher Duddy in 1996, the couple have two small children, one of whom was born in this very house in early 2006. Given the heavy duty spiritual decor of this place, we assume this was some sort of hippy dippy home birth situation where the baby was born in the bath tub while monks chanted in the other room and a mid-wife in a head scarf whispered words of encouragement. Your Mama does not know if that's how it actually came down, but it's how we imagine it, you know?

Anyhoo, this house was purchased only in November of 2005 for $3,350,000 according to property records. Inneresting thing about the property records though. They don't show Mister Duddy's name. Rather, only those of Miz Joely and her super rich mama Miz Connie Stevens. Now, surely Miz Fisher and Mister Duddy can afford to purchase a home with their own hard earned income. But perhaps when your mama is as rich as Miz Stevens you don't have to.

This is not the first time Miz Joely has occupied a house that her mama owns. Prior to moving to Encino, Miz Joely lived in Beverly Hills on Tupelo Lane in a house that property records reveal was also owned by Miz Connie. Those same records show was sold about the same time this house in Encino was purchased. Again, we're sure Miz Joely and Mister Duddy have plenty of money of her own for a nice house, but more than likely, and we speculate here, all the properties are owned in some sort of family trust which protects ownership and benefits the taxes.

Located up a long private drive, this house provides amazing seclusion and privacy for a couple of celebs and their children. However, given that the Fisher-Duddy brood is growing, perhaps this house just isn't large enough to accommodate all the children, nannies, assistants, and various employees required to run a busy celebrity household. Hard to believe given the guest house and 7 bathrooms, but none the less they are selling.

Although it is quite convenient for industry types, Your Mama is not big on the Encino location. We do however, love the tucked away property which is perfect for celebrity types and seclusion seekers. Not only is the house located on an out of the way cul de sac, it's accessed up a long drive with a gated motor court. It is out of the way enough that no one is going to be accidentally ringing the bell on the security gates or driving up in the motor court to tun around. Seriously, another celebrity NEEDS to buy this house.

We would get rid of a lot of the Tibetan decor, but overall, we like this house. Which is sorta surprising because there are lots of elements in the photos that worry us. The stone floors are exquisite, and we can only hope they have radiant heating to warm the tootsies on cool mornings. The newly redone kitchen, while not blazing any paths of new-fangled design, works a pretty standard but totally acceptable contemporary vibe with the simple, but we are sure, very expensive cabinets and stainless steel appliances. We love that back wall, but we do wish those double ovens could have been put elsewhere so that we could appreciate the wood wall for being a wood wall.

The dining room is a completely upsetting mish-mash of styles. We love the Noguchi paper light fixture and we can almost get behind the kooky chairs. But the big brown cabinet at the back and the haphazard wall hangings aren't working. Your Mama would replace the cabinet with something less brown, re-hang the family photos, get rid of the fish bowl/vase thing on the table, and put a big red rug on the floor to stimulate the appetite and set the furniture off from the floor. And what's with the birdcage/wine storage device Joely? Uhm, no.

We do worry that getting in and out of that complicated bed structure while half asleep and needing to pee could be a problem. But it is a rather huge bed, and Your Mama adores a big bed. The mirror in the master bathroom is appalling. We don't meant to be cruel, because we LOVE little miss Joely, but that mirror is just so upsetting. Hunny, why do you want to get ready each morning in a room that resembles a dressing room of a Broadway theater? Your Mama can't even begin to calculate the excessive wattage of all those bulbs and we're breaking a sweat just thinking about how much make-up melting heat that mirror must throw off.

The screening room appears to be a respite from all the Indo-Asian decor, which we appreciate. And we're loving the back yard with the pool sunk right into the grass and, surprisingly, we even dig the Indian cabana structure which looks like an excellent place to lay around and read scripts.

Given the rather high asking price, it appears the couple is looking to cash in big time on this property. If all goes well, they'll net more than a million bucks in less than two years of ownership. We're not sure if this is impressive or greedy. Or both. Your Mama wishes them luck in selling and a happy new home.

Sources: Internet Movie Data Base, Glitterati Gossip, Forever Spring

UPDATE: Jeff Bezos' Real Estate Pornography

Y'all remember the big Bev Hills house we discussed back in April that internet tycoon Jeff Beszos recently purchased in Bev Hills? The house had been listed at $31,000,000, sprawls across 12,000 square feet of Mediterranean fabulosity, and shares a property line with the current (bust soon to be one-time) Crooz compound on N. Alpine Drive.

Anyhoo, yesterday Mister Big Time over at Big Time Listings tells us the deeds and paperwork for the purchase have been filed and cleared public records and reveal that Bezos got a pretty good deal on the 2 acre spread.

According to Mister Big Time (and public records) Bezos paid $24,450,000 for the property, which is still a shocking amount of money by anyone's standards, but far less than the $31,000,000 asking price.

Your Mama imagines that Mister Bezo's property values will rise the moment the moving trucks pull away from the Crooz compund producing some immediate equity in the property.