Robert Cray Selling Los Feliz Pad

SELLER: Robert Cray
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,250,000
SIZE: 2,205 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Enchanting one story European, private and custom home on huge lot w/almost 1 acre flat with pool. An island unto itself. 3 Bds. 21/2 Baths.L.R. has beamed ceilings. & Ariz. Flagstone F.P., Wood flrs.D.R. has adjct. patio bringing in the outdoors. Kitch. has Viking Range & Sub-Zero in pantry. Sep. office/gst.hse + office/studio. Master has secret garden w/spa. Rear patio has F.P. & B.B.Q. Huge driveway w/rm. for 8 cars. Wine cellar-Pool-Zinfandel Vines ready for harvest! Views of Griffith Observ.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Three time Grammy winning R&B singer and guitarist Robert Cray recently put his sa-weet Los Feliz house on the market with a not so sweet asking price of $3,250,000. Most of y'all prolly don't know who Robert Cray is, but if you care to, you can Google his ass and get all the information your little hearts desire. Your Mama is simply too tahrd, too bizzy, and too bitchy this morning to do that work for the children today. Sorry babies, but sometimes you gotta make your own lunch.

Anyhoo, Mister Cray and his wifey purchased this house in April of 1997 for just $800,000. Which means the couple can just about retire in high style in Honduras or some other tropical and nearly third world country on the multi-million dollar profit they're hoping to pocket from the sale of their property. That is if they get anywhere near the asking price, which seems a little steep to Your Mama.

Located up in "The Oaks" section of Los Feliz, where a-list actor Brad Pitt maintains a multi-residence compound, Mister Cray's house occupies a fantastic and private peninsula-like piece of property in one of the better, if not easily accessed East Side locations.

With a modest 2,205 square feet and just 3 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms, most of you size queens will think Mister Cray's house simply too small to accommodate the big members of your brood. But Your Mama, who actually prefers something mid-sized over airport terminal sized, thinks it's just about right, large enough to comfortably house our small family of two long bodied bitches named Linda and Beverly and one bitchy pussycat named Sugar who would sooner claw the skin off right off your face than allow you to touch her, but not so large that Minerva the cleaning gurl would need to be up in our hair scrubbing terlits and vacuuming pooch and pussy hair more than once a week.

Keep in mind that listing information for the property indicates there is a very charming little guest cottage/office by the gigantic rectangular swimming pool and an additional office/studio that we think is attached to the detached garage. These fantastic features mean that there's really no need to house guests in the modestly sized main house or to spread out the spread sheets on the kitchen table. So is the house really so small afterall?

Your Mama is not impressed with the interior decor of the house, but we do love the nearly kitchy, but still beautiful Arizona Flagstone fireplace and the open plan of the living and dining rooms. We also like the humongous windows, and what appears in the photos to be an easy indoor/outdoor flow, perfect for that sunny California lifestyle people West of Nevada like to poo-poo, but secretly desire.

While some of the landscaping appears to be well considered and thoughtful, for example that gorgeous patio off the master bedroom that includes a sunken spa, Your Mama would get landscaper to the stars Jay Griffith on the line as soon as the papers were signed to xeriscape the hell out of this place so that is resembled a cluster of California adobe buildings surrounded by lots of easy maintenance and drought tolerant fire bush and agave. Because, let's be honest, it won't be long before water in Southern California will be more valuable than oil. Once the water wars begin, get used to seeing rich people all up and down Sunset Boulevard go ape shit with desperation to buy enough water to keep their acres of lawns unnaturally green and their multitudes of mammoth motor cars spotless. Sure, we love a lovely and verdant lawn too, but Your Mama prefers to steer clear of that water shortage mess with a landscape design that needs only a few drops of water per year to sustain itself.

But we digress. It's unfortunate we don't have more photographs of the interior of this house because we're aching to see the bathrooms and the kitchen, which listing information states has Viking and SubZero appliances...always good things in a multi million dollar home of any size.

Now babies, Your Mama needs to go pop a big fat nerve pill and have a lie down, so please do not disturb us with a bunch of snotty emails about how lazy we are. We do not want to hear it. Besides, you should probably be doing the job you're being paid to do rather than sitting around your office reading this damn blog anyways. Bye now.

Gossip Queen Janet Charlton Has Mid-Century Mania

SELLER: Janet Charlton
LOCATION: S. Rossmore Avenue, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,995,000
SIZE: 4,361 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Ready for restoration, this 5BR/5BA 1961 mid-century residence is by David Hyun (AIA), who worked w/ Neutra and Alexander. Concrete blocks, walls of glass, and terrazzo floors comprise the property's classic elements. The floor plan is as hip today as in its heyday: kitchen opens to family w/FP, office w/separate entrance, masster w/views of massive pool, room guest suites, 2-room pool cabana; all w/ ultimate rivacy. Used in films and TV, the swinging Hancock Park home brings Palms Springs to LA.

YOUR MAMAS UPDATE: Your Mama was honored to be contacted this morning by Miz Charlton herself who tells us her house has indeed seen the likes of all sorts of big name celebrities who have entered Miz Charlton's mid-century modern time warp. The long list includes Gwen Stefani, Ricky Martin, Drew Barrymore, Cloe Sevigny, Kathy Griffin, Jessica Alba, Nic Cage and on and on. We were also told that Brad Pitt used the terlit, Annette Bening slept in her bed, and Alec Baldwin fell down drunk on the kitchen floor. Well sort of. All that happened during the making of Running With Scissors, which was filmed in the house.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: One almost expects to see Sammy Davis Jr. mixing martinis and Shirley MacLaine doing the watusi on the dining room table as you step through the door of gossip maven Janet Charlton's thoroughly mid-century modern home in Los Angeles' Hancock Park.

In case y'all do not know, Miz Janet Charlton is an LA-based high priestess of the celebrity gossip scene who was slinging dirt and floating blind items about the Hollywood hoi polloi long before Miss Casablanca even knew what gossip was.

Back in the mid 1990s, mid-century modern fanatic Miz Charlton went a-house hunting and in April 1997 fell in love with and purchased a somewhat pedigreed but neglected house that occupies a very bizzy corner in posh Hancock Park. According to property records, the combat boot wearing queen of scuttlebutt paid just $540,000 for the 4,361 square foot house that features 3 proper bedrooms, a den, study, an eat in in kitchen with attached family room, and huge swimming pool out back.

We already know a whole slew of you are going to comment and write to Your Mama about the perceived crime problem in Hancock Park and the amount of time it takes the LAPD to respond to calls over the amount of time it takes the Beverly Hills po-po to knock on your door after dialing 911. Whatever. Crime problem or not, Hancock Park is chock full of celebrities living in expensive and dee-luxe estates that surround the swank Wilshire Country Club. With prices in the Platinum Triangle of Bev Hills, Bel Air, and the Holmby Hills skyrocketing to unfathomable heights, Hancock Park is attracting increasing numbers of celebrities and other high profile individuals with it's central location, large lots, street after tree-lined street of gor-gee-us housing stock, and much more modest price tags.

Just like Miz Charlton and all the other urban design snobs across the good ol' U.S. of A, Your Mama is fond of the mid-century modern era. We have a nice Noguchi coffee table and a couple of Eames loungers for the Dr. Cooter, not to mention a Florence Knoll two seater with the original tweed fabric. We've even got a gorgeous Jens Risom credenza, but it's all mixed in with less pedigreed and more current furniture and artworks. But if Your Mama is being honest, and we always are, we think the lovely and talented Miz Charlton has done flooded the car with too much of a good thing. Yes, it's all fun and we'd LOVE to go to a party at Miz Charlton's house of mid-century madness, but as a place to live, it's just too much of a one note time capsule for our personal taste.

We do love the George Nelson sofas in the living room that double as side tables, and we swoon over Miz Charlton's little collection of Eero Saarinen Tulip chairs with the cute orange pads. We can even appreciate those cock-a-mamie ottomans that look like a pair of dice and we totally respect her decision to keep and maintain the original kitchen appliances when possible. But Janet hunny, this place looks more like a mid-century modern furniture store than it does a modern home. Your Mama recommends that when Miz Charlton gets this place sold, she auction off some of her considerable collection and replace it with some more contemporary pieces, say a few things from the Bouroullec brothers and maybe even a thing or two from Crate and Barrel or some other generic big name retail emporium.

Given the $2,995,000 asking price, it appears that lucky Miz Charlton is going to wind up with a wad of cash once her house sells to another mid-century modern aficionado who will likely renovate and restore this place to within an inch of acceptability. Either that or someone will knock the sucker down and built yet another too big Mediterranean-ish monstrosity.

The house is listed by a gentleman named Jeff Yarbrough, and Miz Charlton asks that any of the children that might be interested in purchasing the house give her man at Keller Williams in Beverly Hills a ringy dingy.

Source: Larchmont Chronicle

Nicole Murphy is Cashing Out

SELLER: Nicole Murphy
LOCATION: Prado del Grandioso, Calabasas, CA
PRICE: $8,495,000 (reduced from $9,995,000)
SIZE: 9,214 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Located in private community, stunning 1 of a kind estate has it all! Captured by lush specimen lndscpng/mountain vista views, newer Spanish hacienda w/ open flrplan: high ceilings, dark walnut flrs, high tech amenities, top of the line grmt ktch w/ cntr island & Wolf range. Brkfst area / bar & frml dine. 6 car garage, guest / maids rms, oft. & media screening room on 1st level. 3 jr. suites & mstr retreat w/ frplc, blcny, sp bath, his/her walk in clsts & vanities. Endless grds, full guest house, walking trail, pool/spa!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Since the late 1980s, ex-model Nicole Murphy has been a baby factory for filthy rich comedian Eddie Murphy. Now she's his ex-wife. Since their split in 2005, the mommy of five, count 'em, FIVE Murphys has had to watch the man impregnate, get engaged to, dump, and become embroiled in a paternity battle with Scary Spice. Then the father of seven shorties by three women, who has made mountains of money dressing up as sassy fat ladies, got engaged to another purdy be-hatcha named Tracey Edmunds, who does not seem to mind at all that her new man treated Miz Spice (and their new-born progeny) like dirt. Your Mama expects Miz Edmunds will be knocked up by Christmas. Jeezis, Mary, and Joseph, what is the man packing that has all these women lining up to be engaged to and push out babies for Eddie Murphy?

Anyhoo, if anyone were to ask Your Mama, and of course, no one did, we think Nicole Murphy is entitled to a little financial something for all her troubles and embarrassment. Your Mama also thinks Mister Murphy should become familiar with how to use a damn condom, but that's another gripe for another day.

Yesterday we learned from Mister Big Time that Miz Nicole Murphy recently put the vast Sacramento estate she and Mister Murphy owned together since 1998 on the market for $6,500,000 (see below). The property was apparently granted to ex-Miz Murphy in the dee-vorce. Being that ex-Miz Murphy was raised in Sacramento, perhaps it's not so unusual the former couple would have a residence to stay in when they visited her people. But did they need an 11,158 square foot house with 10 bedrooms and 14 bathrooms? And did they need to decorate the place like a wannabe glitzy Communist era hotel in Moscow? No, children, they did not have to, but they did.
All very interesting indeed, but it turns out the Sacramento area estate is not the only piece of luxury real estate that ex-Miz Murphy has recently put on the market. Not long after she and Mister Murphy went splitsville, the statuesque beauty used some of Eddie's money to purchase a huge house in a swanky subdivision in suburban Calabasas. Located in the guard gated community of "The Oaks," the Spanish style house sprawls over 9,214 square feet and includes 6 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms, which sounds like a lot of bedrooms unless you've got nearly half a dozen of Eddie Murphy's children who need to be fed, housed and clothed in high Hollywood style.

Although Miz Murphy only purchased the house in May of 2006 for $7,500,075, she is clearly looking to sell the place off at a considerable profit. Currently priced at $9,995,000, the sale of this house will net her an impressive couple million clams. Sounds ambitious, but keep in mind that in February 2007, in the aftermath of his acrimonious separation from high drama diva Shanna Moakler, tattooed rocker Travis Barker shelled out $9,500,095 for a similar house just two doors down. Reports say that Travis and Shanna are back together, which means the former Miss USA and current party queen has moved to Calabasas, which should put everyone in "The Oaks" on high alert.

Listing information for ex-Miz Murphy's Calabasas residence shows that in addition to the many bedrooms and bathrooms, there is a full guest house and staff quarters. These are excellent features, because what dee-vorée who is trying to stick it to her mega-rich tranny prostitute loving ex-huzband raises the children without an army of nannies, housekeepers and assistants that can be billed back to Mr. Man?

Your Mama notes that the house also includes garaging for six cars. Another nice feature for a family of six (plus staff and security) whose large numbers surely require at least two tricked out Denalis with blacked out windows to get from place to place. And of course, let's not forget the swimming pool, media room, office, a family room, gourmet kitchen, wine cellar, and the vast master suite with dual closets, fireplace and private balcony. Phew!

The decor is pared down, and the place has certainly not been touched by a nice gay decorator. Even still, Your Mama must confess, for a gargantuan house in a suburban development, this house is really quite lovely. We dig the hacienda style architecture, the dark walnut floors are dee-lishus, and while grand in scale, the house retains an air of informality and coziness that we don't ordinarily expect to find in a house that is pushing 10,000 square feet.

Like the ex-wifey, Mister Murphy is also trying to unload some real estate. "Bubble Hill," the actors' 32 room mansion in New Jersey is still on the market, as is "Clove Hill," the 205 acre farm in rural Dutchess Country in upstate New York. Meanwhile, Mister Murphy continues to reside in the one decadent piece of his real estate empire that he's not trying to sell off, an 18,598 square foot monster mansion with 10 bedrooms and 17 bathrooms on 4.73 acres in uber posh Beverly Park.

From the photos it's difficult to ascertain if the ex-Miz Murphy and children are still in residence on Prado del Grandioso, and we certainly have no information on where they might be headed. But be assured children, that wherever it is that ex-Miz Murphy next sets down roots, the house house will be huge, the bedroom count will be many, and the cost to Mister Murphy outrageous. Can you blame her?