Friday, April 4, 2008

The Cecil B. DeMille House Revealed

SELLER: A couple of non-celebs
LOCATION: De Mille Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $18,900,000 (reduced from $26,250,000)
SIZE: 6 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Rare and historic Cecil B. DeMille estate, sited on 2.1 elevated acres in gated Laughlin Park. Completely restored with incredible attention to quality and detail. Studio house, pool house/gym, classic pool, expansive lawns, Audiophile Crestron System and much more.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The children have been clamoring, crying and filling our inbox with email asking for information on the old Cecil B. DeMille estate in Los Feliz that hit the market a few weeks ago with a spine tingling asking price of $26,250,000, which quite frankly is a lot of moolah for a house in that part of Los Angeles. More than likely most of you nosy Neds and Nancys read the post the good folks at Curbed LA posted when the large and lovely crib appeared on the open market, and really, there's very little we can add to what's already been written and discussed about the property other than to deal with some historical details and the lackluster interior day-core.

However, we're going to refrain from getting all snarky this morning and stick to the facts. See kids, Your Mama has a thousand and one things to do today and we can't be sitting around here all day trying to think of pithy and witty things to say about those ass uglee brocade dining room chairs.

Built in 1914 and bought in 1916 by famous film director Cecil B. DeMille for just $27,893 the 2.1 acre property sits on a high elevation in the gated and fancy Laughlin Park neighborhood. According to the Movieland Directory, Mister DeMille later purchased the house next door from silent film super star Charlie Chaplin and connected the two houses with a long arboretum. Most reports indicate that for many years the Oscar winning Mister DeMille used the Chaplin house as his bizness address.

It would appear to Your Mama that the two Old Hollywood Grande Dames are no longer joined because property records show that the old Chaplin residence turned DeMille business address was sold by Emmy winning television producer John Wells to former Universal Pictures head honcho Mary Parent in November of 2007 for $5,980,000.

Most reports say Mister DeMille lived in the house with his family until 1959 and since then it has changed hands on several occasions and the current owners are not celebrities per se, but the huzband is a poet and novelist of some note.

The tax man shows the Mediterranean mansion measures in at a very large but not outrageous 7,472 square feet with 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms and listing information for the big beauty indicates there are 10 bathrooms. Your Mama isn't sure why this discrepancy, but everyone knows that 10 bathrooms means the homeowners have to spend big bucks to employ a full time gurl (or boy) just to keep all ten of them terlits scrubbed and properly polished.

In addition to the tile roofed main house that sits exquisitely high on the property, a pool house with a home gym sits next to the wonderfully simple rectangular swimming pool, and another structure/studio is tucked away beyond the pool. Your Mama thinks this pleasingly symmetrical building would be an excellent and quiet spot to read, write and take long afternoon naps while the Dr. Cooter works on his tan the natural way by slathering on some coconut smelling oil and lying motionless in the blistering sun like a dead fish.

The interiors have clearly been modernized and updated–there is a fancy schmancy and expensive Crestron system after all. But thankfully, the house retains its genteel grandeur and graciousness as well as some of its spectacular original details like the soo-blime (and probably hand rubbed) paneling in the dining room.

It's tough for Your Mama to imagine that anyone would want to sell this piece of paradise, but then again we break into a cold sweat just thinking about the gigantic maintenance and landscaping bills which would probably bankrupt the average American. Before you children jump down Your Mama's throat, we are well aware that anyone who can afford a $26,250,000 house a bank account big enough to pay a small army of landscapers to weed, trim and mow on a daily basis and to hire a dozens of dusters, cooks and vacuum pushers to keep the inside looking spiffy. None the less, our mind always boggles at the enormous costs associated not only with purchasing a property of this magnitude, but also the dedication and dollars required to property maintain and shepherd the house through the years.

Your Mama has heard through the gossip grapevine that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner viewed this house, but it's just gossip and rumor so please don't anyone go reporting that like you know what you're talking about because we certainly do not. It's plausible the high powered couple had a look see since they seem to love looking at houses with asking prices above $20,000,000, but we really don't know.

By Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's estimation, the only thing this house lacks is a tennis court. We realize that not everyone cares to swing a racket like we do, but for $26,250,000 we would most definitely require a tennis court on the property. We can only assume that will not be a requirement for anyone who buys this celebrity style property and we can't wait to see who that will be.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

UPDATE: Sean Hayes

If you were bowled over by the stunning million dollar price reduction on C.S.I. sex kitten Khandi Alexander's Hollywood Hills house, then you'll be left gasping for air by the colossal karate chop that Will and Grace's Sean Hayes has brought down on the asking price of his Hancock Park home.

Originally listed at $8,950,000, the 4 bedroom and 5 bathroom property is now being offered with a new an improved asking price of $7,450,000. That's right children, the Emmy winning actor has hacked a humongous $1,500,000 off the asking price of his English Country style house with its dig-nee-fied day-core. It appears that Mister Hayes has gotten dead serious about dumping his current digs and moving one to a new crib, one Your Mama hopes will have slightly smaller closets.

Watch Out New York City...

...Because Paul McCartney's bitter and newly rich ex-wifey Heather Mills has been sniffing around for new digs in Noo York City. According to the The Daily Mail, the $50,000,000 woman was spotted house hunting at the sales office for the yet to be built One Jackson Square, a curvy, swervy and thoroughly modern building that will tower over the corner of Greenwich Avenue and 8th Avenue in lower Manhattan.

No word on what size unit Missy Mills might be interested, but apartments in the undulating and all-glass apartment block carry prices of (approximately) $850,000 for a studio apartment all the way to $12,000,000 for the 3 bedroom penthouse that occupies the entire 11th floor and has 360 degree views over the rooftops of Greenwich Village.

If Miss Rich Dee-vorcée were to consult Your Mama, and we're quite certain she won't since we haven't said the nicest things about her embarrassing grab at her ex-huzband's prodigious Poundage, we think the single mommy should go for one of the 2 bedroom and 3 bathroom duplex units. That way she'd have room for young daughter Beatrice and a lovely terrace from which to shout and scream about how she was wronged, maligned and misunderstood. Your Mama would feel sorry for her because the litigious ladee has really not had an easy go of it in the press and gossip glossies. But unfortunately, it's a wee bit difficult for us to go there because Your Mama would be more than happy to be wronged, maligned and misunderstood by the general public if we had fifty million clams of someone else's money flipping the big bird at the Fourth Estate and the chattering masses.