Peter Norton Selling Central Park West Condo

SELLER: Peter Norton
LOCATION: Central Park West, New York, NY
PRICE: $16,250,000
SIZE: 4,415 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: This high floor, Central Park West residence proudly features one of the finest residential layouts designed by renowned architect Philip Johnson. A grandly proportioned gallery seamlessly separates living, service and sleeping areas, while its generous scale provides ideal entertaining space and a wonderful backdrop for the most discerning art collectors. This inspiring flow leads to 3 bedrooms library/4th bedroom, formal dining room, grand living room, wet bar, modern eat in kitchen, 6.5 marble baths and ample service and storage areas...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The other day we were reading real estate gossip Max Abelson's most recent Manhattan Transfers column in the New York Observer in which he discussed two high floor apartments at the Trump International Hotel and Towers in New York City that for the bank account busting price of $34,700,000 could be combined to create a capacious 8,830 square foot doo-plex apartment that would include 6 or maybe 8 bedrooms (depending on how one counts) and at least 14 terlits for the house gurl to hate on.

The lower apartment, currently listed at $18,450,000, spreads across 4,415 square feet of the 44th floor and belongs to a man named Richard O. Ullman who made most of his hundreds of millions on administering and managing pharmaceutical benefits, whatever that means. Mister Abelson's recent article about Mister Ullman's Trump International residence is not Mister Ullman's first turn on the so-called celebrity real estate merry go round having been identified in November of 2008 by Mister Abelson as the likely (but unconfirmed) owner of a large terraced doo-plex apartment at the much ballyhooed Robert A.M. Stern designed 15 Central Park West which was was bought in March of 2008 for $23,500,000 and rumored to be flipped back on the market as a "quiet" listing with an eye-popping (and rather optimistic) $75,000,000 asking price.

Anyhoo, it's not Mister Ullman and his high-priced real estate comings and goings we want to discuss, it's tech tycoon turned renowned contemporary art collector Peter Norton's apartment on the forty-fifth floor of the Trump International which currently carries an asking price of $16,250,000 (reduced from $17,900,000). As unscientific proof that birds of feather nest together, the bulk of the 45th floor, according to property records, is owned by Texas-based billionaire Mark Cuban who appears to own a couple of cribs that combined measure a commodious 5,778 square feet.

Property records show Mister Norton purchased his 3-4 bedroom and 6.5 bathroom condominium unit on Central Park West in January of 1998 for an unknown amount of money. Listing information reveals that interior spaces pinwheel around a central gallery that defines the traffic flow and separates the living, sleeping and service spaces all of which doubled as a rotating gallery space for the massive contemporary art collection amassed by Mister Norton and his first wifey Eileen. The Norton collection, believed to be one of the largest and most valuable private collections in the world, includes works by big name and big bucks artists Takashi Murakami, Robert Lazzarini, Yinka Shonabare, John Currin, Gregory Crewdson, Vik Muniz and many, many, meh-nee more.

For reasons that we will absolutely not discuss in order to protect the innocent, Your Mama has actually been inside Mister Norton's apartment on several occasions where we were non-plussed by the predictable and not particularly inspired architecture and depressingly drab day-core but was left slack-jawed and bug-eyed over the soo-blime and very serious art that was everywhere we turned and rivaled any trip to any contemporary museum or hoity toity art gallery anywhere.

Here are the four things we remember most about Mister Norton's aerie.

1. While the lobby of the building is glitzy and shiny in the way only Donald Trump can (and would) do, the wide, runway-length hallways that lead to the individual apartments of the Trump International look disturbingly similar and equally as banal as the hallways of a very clean and well kept Best Western Hotel Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter stayed in on one of our cross country jaunts in our big BMW that was stuffed full of gin, tonic, our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly and that howling pussy we call Sugar.

2. To the left of the entrance gallery is a tremendous living room with one full and another partial wall of floor to ceiling windows with thrilling views south over the the building tops and east over Central Park and towards the dignified apartment houses that line Fifth Avenue just above 59th Street. Equally as stunning as the spine-tingling only-in-New York view was a large Kara Walker cut paper silhouette installation that stretched down an entire wall of the living room.

3. To the right of the art filled entrance gallery was Mister Norton's den/office and a long dining room with a dizzy making wood floor, a pretty (but very ordinary) Fortuny chandelier and floor to ceiling windows looking west over the building tops and towards a particularly leafy part of New Jersey. Beyond the kitchen is the not too big but gigantic for New York City kitchen which is functionally equipped with milky smooth marble counter tops, ordinary white cabinetry and a eating area where an Ingo Maurer Porca Misera! chandelier hangs over a small round table set in front of huge window through which ships can be seen gliding peacefully down the mighty Hudson River.

4. Although we did not know it from our visits, it turns out there are 6.5 bathrooms in Mister Norton's apartment including two marble numbers in the master suite and another in one of the secondary bedrooms in which the terlit sits right up next to the floor to a ceiling window where we fear someone with binoculars at the Time Warner Center across Columbus Circle could easily watch a person do their dirty bizness should they be so inclined.

Other amenities, according to listing information and a peek at the floor plan, include a service area with a full bathroom (since rich people prefer the help not use their terlits), laundry facilities and a pantry for storing extra paper towels and canned goods. The master suite has a proper foyer which obstructs sight lines from the living spaces into the boo-dwar, two bathrooms (one, unfortunately, without a window), and five closets comprised of 3 walk-ins, one linen and one standard thingamuhjobby.

Although it's tough to tell from the lackluster listing photos, Mister Norton's digs were designed by noted interior decorator Sheila Bridges who also did up the Harlem offices of Bill Clinton, the red-nosed ex-president. Miz Bridges does fine work so we won't hold her responsible for the bizarre and conversation unfriendly arrangement of furniture in the living room that was surely created by Mister Norton's staff without a consult from Miz Bridges.

As we discussed back in August of 2008, Mister Norton and his new wifey, a financier named Gwen, have decamped to much more modest but still frightfully expensive ($6,800,000) downtown digs that measure 2,861 square feet of interior space with another 1,100 square feet of city view terrace. As far as we know, Mister Norton still owns a drop-dead 8 bedroom Queen Anne style Victorian retreat on easy going but high toned Martha's Vineyard.

A Supermodel House in the Hills

SELLER: Shannan Click
LOCATION: Mountcrest Avenue, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,146,000
SIZE: 2,058 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Double steel doors open to reveal explosive city views and the excitement of wide open living spaces. Disappearing wall of glass give way to expansive decks merging interior and exterior. Huge eat-in chef's kitchen and built-in audio provide essential elements for entertaining in style. On another level, a secluded master suite with fireplace, marble bath, and walk in closet. 2 additional bedrooms and 1 and 1/2 baths.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen children, although we're working on getting the delicious dirt on the transactions of a couple of famous folks whose names appear in all the gossip glossies on a regular basis, the celebrity real estate pickings have been a bit slim lately so today we're going to go with a Hollywood Hills house owned by a gorgeous gal named Shannan Click who recently listed her L.A. digs with an asking price of $2,146,000 (lowered from $2,296,000).

We'd bet out long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that many of the children will not recognize Miss Click's name but certainly y'all have seen her peering from the pages of magazines shilling fashion bits and pieces for high-brow companies like Dior Cosmetics, Emporio Armani and Dolce & Gabbana just to name a few. Fashion freaks will also know that Miss Click has cat walked for insanely expensive labels like Chloé, Balenciaga, Lanvin and Chanel Couture. Horny males and ladee loving females may also recognize her from when she snagged a much coveted spot to strut the runway in puny panties during the 2008 Victoria's Secret fashion show. And, of course, it should come as no surprise that like too many size zeros with photogenic faces, Miss Click wants to "act" and recently appeared in a film Your Mama has never heard of called Frost as well as played the itty-bitty role of "List Member #3" in a deeply disastrous movie called Deception.

A peep into property records shows Miss Click–who was once romantically linked to actor/prolific model and starlet humper Stephen Dorff–picked up her 2,058 square foot house in August of 2005 when she paid $1,700,000 for the dramatic Mountcrest Avenue dwelling.

Listing information indicates the 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom two story house is entered through a heavy (and unnecessarily heavy handed) set of steel front doors that open to a loft-like (but low-ceilinged) living and dining room with blond wood floors and a section of windows that slide into the walls eradicating any barrier between the interior space and the wide deck that runs along the back of the house. The galley style kitchen features glossy white cabinetry, black granite counter tops, a full suite of high-grade stainless steel appliances including a vixenish Viking brand dishwasher, and and eating area with a curved wall punctuated by narrow slits of floor to ceiling glazing.

The lower floor includes two secondary bedrooms and the master suite where all the supermodel magic happens. In addition to a wood burning fireplace with lighted cubbies, the master suite includes a marble bathroom, walk-in closet and another large section of window that disappears into the walls when opened.

Like many houses in the hills, the front facade sits right on the road with only a small sliver of landscaping where a trio of palm trees flank the entrance and the 2-car garage. At the rear, deep and wide decks on both levels offer glittery and glam views and are connected by a spiral staircase that is probably a bit precarious for old people and/or booze hounds.

Records also show that in March of 2007 the New York based live mannequin paid an unknown amount of modeling money for a 2 bedroom apartment with a 600 sq. ft. terrace in an East Village co-op on the once dee-lightfully scrungy now dicsconcertingly stroller strewn Avenue A.

Rihanna's ex-Rental Residence

SELLER: It Does Not Really Matter Because He Ain't Famous
LOCATION: Tryon Road, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,949,000
SIZE: 4, 545 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Celebrity estate, gated & high above the city, this SBY designed architectural is the perfect fusion of mid-century modern aesthetic & laid back LA lifestyle. Open floor plan where expanses of glass dissolve boundaries between the house & the city below. Views stretch from Downtown to ocean, and are enjoyed from almost any room in the home. Gourmet kitch w/ top appliances. Sexy master w/ own den + walk-in steam shower. Wrap around viewing decks & lush yard w/ pool & fire pit.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama is old, but we are not so old that we don't know that the young people like this Rihanna gurl that sings about umbrellas and who was recently all kinds of mixed up with a man who (allegedly) gave her a big ol' beat down on some street in the Hancock Park area of Los Angeles. Lawhd have mercy children, what kind of man hits on a woman? Seriously, a man has gotta be making up for some seriously small naughty bits if he needs to be smackin' up on a ladee to feel like a man, you know what we're saying?

Anyhoo, at the time of the (alleged) physical altercation, Miss Rihanna, whose real name is Robyn Fenty, was leasing a house up in Los Feliz area of Los Angeles. That house, owned by a man who was once called a writer and a designer in an article in the L.A. Times, recently hit the market with an asking price of $2,949,000. The owner has been trying to unload this house since sometime in mid-2007 when it was on the market with the wonky asking price of $3,249,500.

Property records show the Tryon Road residence was purchased by its current owner in November of 2005 for $1,699,000 and listing information indicates the three story hillside house measures 4,545 square feet with 4 bedrooms and 4 full bathrooms and 2 half bathrooms which makes six terlits that Miss Rihanna's house gurl had to scrub up.

The main floor the of the very colorful contemporary crib comprises the small entry and stair hall, a large open plan living and dining area divided by a double sided fireplace and a long wall of sliding windows that open to a large balcony/terrace with long and wide views from downtown Los Angeles all the way to the Pacific Ocean and include shades that can be operated by remote control.

A small family room is open to the large kitchen which sports some crazy Rosewood cabinetry and grass green glass counter tops that Your Mama hopes look better in person because in the photos, they are painful to look at. The main floor is completed by a triangular shaped powder pooper and a guest bedroom and bathroom.

The second floor includes two family bedrooms, each with a private pooper. Strangely and unfortunately, the laundry room is located in the large walk-in closet of one of the bedrooms, a situation that surely had better remedy than this. The master suite includes a large sitting area that opens to a narrow balcony that overlooks the glittery lights of Los Angeles, and the bedroom area has a wood burning fireplace for all those people who think doing it on a bear skin rug in front of a fire is romantic. The large but awkwardly shaped master bath features a large soaking tub for two, double sinks, a private cubby for the terlit and a party-sized steam shower.

A narrow space which we believe to be located under the main floor and not accessible without going outside has been kitted out as a media room with a large plasma tee-vee, surround sound and a half bathroom that facilitates quickie trips to the terlit during commercial breaks without having to climb up and down a bunch of bothersome stairs. While the 2-car garage is located on Tryon Road, the entrance to the house is also and best accessible from a private drive off of N. Gramercy Place.

In addition to the wide west facing balconies–which thankfully have wide awnings to shield the interior spaces from the particularly blistering afternoon sunshine, the outdoor spaces include a narrow, serene and decked courtyard area tucked up between the house and the hillside that has an outdoor fireplace sort of thing. The small swimming pool, spa and outdoor shower are all well sited for privacy and nood sunbathing and according to the article in the L.A. Times, the swimming pool can be shaded by a retractable awning.

No children, Your Mama should not have to remind y'all not to get up in your hoopdies and drive up to Los Feliz to see if you can see Riri sunning on the deck because not only does Miss Rihanna have some scary security, she'd done moved on and does not live here anymore.

Although we do know Miss RiRi is currently hanging about in New York (and reported to be hunting for digs there), we're unsure about where the singing super star is hanging up her snakeskin heels in Los Angeles. The always spot on Junebug recently told us Miss Rihanna used to hole up in an apartment in the Wilshire Corridor, but honestly we are not sure if that is that case now and neither is Junebug.

What's been rumored and reported, however, is that Miss Rihanna paid a steep 12 million clams for a house in Bel Air. This may be true, but it also might be a bunch of hooey because remember hunnies, it was only in August of 2008 that salacious stories were circulating that Miss Rihanna had only $20,000 left to her name. Pleeze. Somehow we doubt Miss Riri is poverty stricken but we happen to know, from Junebug and others, that she is humping around the Hollywood Hills with several different agents all of whom are hungry to sell her a modern manse in the $5-6,000,000 range.

For what it is worth, property records show the seller of the Tryon Road residence also owns a house on Holly Oak Drive that he snatched up for $880,000 from actor Blair Underwood.