Thursday, March 31, 2011

New Krib for Kourtney Kardashian

BUYER: Kourtney Kardashian (and Scott Disick)
LOCATION: Calabasas, CA
PRICE: $1,700,000
SIZE: 5,334 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Buckle in buckaroos and pour yourselves a tall and stiff gin & tonic because–trust now–you are going to need it. We strongly recommend getting blottoed or at least a little buzzed before moving on here because much to Your Mama's own dismay and disappointment we are about to discuss the recent real estate doings of one of those krazy and ubiquitous Kardashian people. This time it's the eldest Kardashian, Kourtney, and her douche bag baby daddy Scott Disick who, we hear through the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine, recently paid $1,700,000 for a new krib in an upscale development in Calabasas, CA.

Several days ago The Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial queried Your Mama about an upgraded and pricey but perfectly ordinary home in The Oaks, an upper middle class gated community in the far northwestern suburbs of Los Angeles. The Bizzy Boys were pretty sure but not 100% sure that the property in question was purchased by Miss Kourtney K. (and her ill-behaving baby daddy Scott Disick).

After taking a day or two to stomach the notion of digging up real estate dish on one of the Kardashians, Your Mama made a few requests for confirmation from a couple of our contacts who tend to know about quasi-celebrity real estate matters. It wasn't long before we heard back from a celebrity gossip industry stalwart we know who told us that his people told him that Kourtney K. and her coat tail-riding baby daddy Scott Disick have indeed moved into the krib in question as evidenced–if you will–by their high-cost whips being espied and photographed while parked in the driveway. Also, someone pointed Your Mama towards a video on the YouTube that shows Mister Kourtney Kardashian standing on the rear balcony of the house–are you read for this?–encouraging folks to visit his official personal website in order to get a real idea of who he is and what his life is like. Make of that, butter beans, what you will.

The pre-Kourtney K. ownership of the property, according records we accessed, show the property has had a somewhat tumultuous past. It was sold in late June of 2007 for $3,175,000 to a non-celebrity. The following February, the fickle non-celebrity buyer(s) flipped the property back on the market with an asking price of $3,499,000. A few months later, the first of three nasty Notices of Default were recorded on the property. The asking price eventually dipped to $3,299,000 and listing information obtained with an assist from our friend and informant Babbling Babette shows the property was leased in early November 2008 for $13,500 per month.

Although the third and final Notice of Default on the property was recorded in August of 2010, the seller somehow managed to keep the property from falling into the ugly and complicated abyss of foreclosure until along came Miss Kourtney K. (and her wall-punching baby daddy Scott Disick) who, according to property records and as already mentioned above, acquired the residence–through a trust–in November of 2010 for $1,700,000. A few quick flicks of the industrious beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that's less than half what the seller hoped to get when the property was first foisted on the market nearly three years earlier.

Listing information shows the house–previously used as one of the model homes for The Oaks development–measures 5,334 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms. For what it's worth and for anyone who might be persnickety about these particular details, some records show the house measures 5,199 square feet and at least one listing Your Mama reviewed indicated the house actually has 5 full bathrooms. We don't know nor do we care enough to try to find out which figures are accurate.

Anyhoodles doodles, a courtyard entry features a pond and provides access to a detached room that could be utilized as an office, library, guest or staff room, sex dungeon, fitness room and/or media lounge. Inside the house, dark chocolate stained hardwood floor run through a double height entry with its surprisingly pretty staircase and in to the formal living and dining rooms. A not particularly large but well-equipped kitchen, outfitted with high-grade stainless steel appliances and fussy, cream-colored cabinetry has a snack bar, breakfast area and is open to the family room that provides access to the backyard.

The second-floor master suite includes a sitting area, fireplace, walk-in closet, large bathroom with separate soaking tub and shower and private balcony that overlooks the backyard and offers a view of the surrounding roof tops and rolling hills. Other features noted in listing information for the property from 2008 shows the house has an attached two-car garage, wine cellar, second-floor den/game room, crown molding, designer window treatments, central heat, air and vacuum systems, and a luxurious home automation system.

The slim but fully landscaped backyard includes a concrete patio that envelops a free-form swimming pool and raised spa with stone coping and boulder accents, a built-in fire pit and a small grassy area just large enough for a pooch or two to tinkle and squat.

As it turns out, is not Miss Kourtney K.'s first time at the real estate rodeo out in the suburban wilds of Calabasas. In July 2006 the reality tee-vee star coughed up $829,000 for a 2 bedroom and 3 pooper pad in a small gated enclave that wraps around an electrical substation. Miss Kourtney K. took a not insubstantial $130,000-plus wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am to her designer pocketbook in July 2010 when prop records show she sold the two-story 2,235 square foot abode for $700,000.

Momma Kris Kardashian and her Olympic gold medal winner husband Bruce Jenner live in an 8,860 square foot mansion in the guard-gated and star-studded Hidden Hills community where their neighbors include Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, Melissa Etheridge, Nicolette Sheridan and Denise Richards, one of publicly dissembling actor Charlie's Sheen's three ex-wives and baby-mommas. Gluttially expansive and über-entrepreneurial Tinseltown gadabout Kim Kardashian paid $3,400,000 in early 2010 for a 4,500 square foot faux-Tuscan/mock-Med mansion in the Beverly Hills Post Office and younger sis Khloe and her professional dribbler Lamar Odom live in a hulking 7 bedroom and 9 pooper mansion in hot as Hades Tarzana, CA that property records indicate they bought in December of 2009 for $3,950,000.

We're not entirely sure what Mister Disick does for a living besides fight with his baby momma and look like the definition of a tool in front of a crew of reality television cameras but in a recent interview with Mister Disick in Men's Fitness he reveals that he's currently at work on a line of tanning products and supplements for men. Puh-damn-leeze. Let's just call this donkey an ass, okay? We may not know a goblet from a magnifying glass but it is Your Mama's entirely meaningless opinion that if the Kardashian name is not slapped on or, at least, part of the marketing for any product dapper but flashy Mister Disick develops the endeavor is unlikely to succeed. He's a nightclub promoter (or celebrity wrangler or some such thing) and not a goddamn skin care guru. Gawd, it just makes Your Mama want to puke.

Word on the reality tee-vee street is that Miss Kourtney K. and her bespoke-suited baby daddy Mister Disick hope to sell a reality television program of their very own and if they do succeed in that task we expect their new krib will be prominently featured. They would be far from the first high-drama quasi-celebrity couple to sell a successful show about how they raise babies and manage "fame." Just think about Hugh Hefner's ex-gal pal Kendra Whatsername. As far as Your Mama is concerned, that athletic-looking beehawtcha is about as interesting as a box of hair and yet she's all over the damn boob-toob. Not only does she have an eponymous reality show in its 3rd or 4th season but she's also doing the shuck and jive on the current season of the psychologically oppressive and utterly mortifying mega-hit Dancing With The Stars.

What, children, do these Kardashian people actually do that is so damn appealing to others that it allows them to collectively earn upwards of $65,000,0000 in 2010 with an undeniably successful and endlessly expanding empire of clothing stores, fragrances, pin-up calenders, product endorsements, sex tapes and reality television programs, all of which are built–of course–on the back of Kim K.'s behemoth backside? Women want that ass and men–well–want that ass too and, apparently, as a result of the sexed-up desirability of Miss Kim's phat fanny, millions will spend their last minimum wage dollars to buy whatever stupid thing the Kardashians are selling. For chrissakes, chickens, there were people who actually paid real money for The Kardashian Kard, a (much-maligned and now-defunct) pre-paid credit card with shockingly high and "predatory" fees. They had their own fucking credit card, people.

Welcome, giblets, to celebrity in the 21st-century. Your Mama warned y'all that you'd want a tall and stiff gin & tonic to get through this one so it's not our fault iffin any of y'all didn't heed that advice and are now suffering the consequences of reality.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

ADELAIDE

My New White Step Daddy – DVDRip

Mommy’s new husband is no match for these horny little sluts. It doesn’t take long for these insatiable teens to get the attention of their new white stepdaddy’s and even less time to get out of their panties. While mommy’s at work, it’s time to play!! Mom wonders why they get along so well… and she’ll never know why.

pornstar :
Alexa Cruz, Bella Moretti, Randy Spears, Vicki Chase, Yuki Mori

ASA AKIRA: IN BLUE LEG WARMERS












Curry Girl (2006)



History
Bunji is a famous traditional curry shop. Many people in the district love its taste of curry and also Chako, the curry girl. One day, people from a big enterprise comes to propose taking over the curry shop to build food chain-shops. To keep Curry Shop Bunji, Chako has to take part in a special curry competition between Japanese curry and Indian curry. It is also a love competition between Chako and her boyfriend Hayami….

Info
Also Known As: Chako The Curry Queen
Directed by: Niisato Takeshi
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese
Subtitle: Chinese (hardsub)
Year: 2006
Genre: Pinku, Drama, Romance

Cast
Akira Kurosawa
Miki
Eiji Nakamura
Tamura Koichi
Keita Ohno


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After the Dream (2006)



History
When Ami and her step-brother, Hiroshi embrace one another in bed, the phone rings; telling them of their parents’ death. A year later, Ami lives with Hiroshi and his wife, Mariko. Seemingly, they look happy but there is undeniable tension between Ami and Mariko. One day, Mariko gets mad at Ami for always coming into their bedroom without permission. Losing her temper, Ami blurts out that she has a relationship with Hiroshi…

Info
Also Known As: Cream Lemon : yume no ato ni
Directed by: Hideo Jojo
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese
Subtitle: No
Year: 2006
Genre: Drama

Cast
Yuriko Akikawa
Sakurako Kaoru
Hiroki Naramoto


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Lady Ninja Kasumi 8 (2009)



History
The conflict between the Toyotomis and the Tokugawas has grown more intense. The formidable enemy that appears before Kasumi and her fellow ninjas on the Tokugawa side is Nobuyuki, the older brother of Yukimura Sanada. Nobuyuki has one aim: to kill Yukimura. He leads a fearsome team: Jako, a female ninja who mesmerizes people with scent: Mukage, who freely moves and escapes on ground at will: Bunzo, who fights ferociously with only a thread and a fishing pole. These Kouga ninjas begin their attacks on the Sanadas. Meanwhile, Yukimura, Mufu, and Kasumi, visit the Kosuges, the master of which is Takayuki, a Toyotomi, whose younger brother, Shinzo, is for the Tokugawas and is deep in conflict. Kasumi and Shizu, a maid of the Kosuges, fall for each other, but Shizu is attacked by Jako’s Kouga ninjas. Kasumi wages an intense battle with them, but soon finds out Shizu’s dark secret. The battle rages…

Info
Directed by: Seshio
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese
Subtitle: NONE
Year: 2009
Genre: Action / Mature 18+

Cast
Yui Tatsumi
Seshio
Riri Koda
Keiko Yamada
Misaki Nishiiri


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Lady Ninja Kasumi 7 (2009)


History
The 7th installment of ‘Kasumi’, the erotic ninja action series based on the manga by Youji Kanbayashi & Jin Hirano. – Kasumi is free and now she must travel to seek her brother Kotaro. Although, on her way. She found an injured woman in the river. Kasumi helped her to get up and she told Kasumi that there is a remote village near by the mountains. Although Kasumi agreed but she doesn’t know, that deep inside the village lies dirty secrets.

Info
Directed by: Seiki Watanabe
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese
Subtitle: NONE
Year: 2009
Genre: Action / Mature 18+

Cast
Nana Nanaumi


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Lady Ninja Kasumi 6 (2008)



History
The story revolves around a man named Takuma who works under the legendary samurai Sanada Yukimura teaching a secret technique called “Kakure Musou”. However, Sanada won’t allow Takuma to actually fight for him because he’s hampered by a painful disease of the eyes. It’s the worst kind of humiliation for a warrior like Takuma. A woman, played by Asami (Sukeban Boy, The Machine Girl), eventually makes a special medicine that helps him recover from his affliction. Meanwhile, Kasumi is sent to investigate a bandit who intends to assassinate Sanada. As the threat of assassination draws closer the shocking truth is exposed and Kasumi is forced to face off against an unlikely betrayer.

Info
Directed by: Hiroyuki Kawasaki
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese
Subtitle: NONE
Year: 2008
Genre: Action / Mature 18+

Cast
Young-mi
Emiru Momose
Marin Akizuki



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Lady Ninja Kasumi 4 (2007)



History
Once again, Lady Ninja Kasumi is a candidate for a dangerous mission that will use all of her abilities as both a kunoichi and a woman. Her clan elder approaches a specific former member of their group, Sakichi, for his aid in the matter. Unfortunately, due to a tragedy and a lost love, he is unwilling to lend his help to the Sanada ninja, and Kasumi volunteers to handle the matter. Ultimately, she is captured and it is up to Sakichi to help her get to safety… but not before she settles the score with a rival lady ninja.

Info
Directed by: Hiroyuki Kawasaki
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese
Subtitle: NONE
Year: 2007
Genre: Action / Mature 18+

Cast
Yoshizawa Akiho
Yui Komiya
Miho Yoshino
Mankichi Maeda
Masumi Ogawa
Masato Takaoka
Koji Maeda
Abou


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Lady Ninja Kasumi 3 (2006)



History
The Kuroda clan is said to be in possession of a secret scroll. Legend has it that whoever can decode the scroll will rule the country. Using her body, Kasumi’s mission to snatch it from them. And snatch it she does. Soon, the Kuroda clan are hot on her tail. She’s eventually saved by Miyamoto, a sympathetic and exceptional swordsman. And when Hattori Hanzo puts a hit out on Kasumi, she’s going to need those sword skills and all the help she can get totake on the formidable Oni clan assassins!

Info
Directed by: Hiroyuki Kawasaki
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese
Subtitle: English
Year: 2006
Genre: Action / Mature 18+

Cast
Marin Akizuki
Miyoko Sakura
Kiyo Yoshizawa
Sayuri Nakano
Jun Maruyama
Koji Maeda
Mankichi Maeda
Shoji Sachi
Sho Hiromasa
Masumi Ogawa
Hideto Ishii


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Lady Ninja Kasumi 2 (2006)



It’s been two years since Kasumi chose the Kunoichi lifestyle and she now has a new enemy in Hattori Hanzo. Hanzo’s wish is to penetrate the Ueda castle. So he enlists his own Kunoichi to seduce the gatekeeper, probing him for security loopholes. When Kasumi tries to thwart Hanzo’s plan, she’s nabbed and humiliated by Hanzo. A prostitute and lover of the gatekeeper, Kosode, comes to Kasumi’s aid and a bond between them is formed. But is it strong enough to withstand the powerful Hanzo and his evil schemes?

Directed by: Hiroyuki Kawasaki
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese
Subtitle: English
Year: 2006
Genre: Action / Mature 18+

Emiru Momose
Sho Nishino
Itsuka Harusaki
Masato Takaoka
Koji Maeda
Tatsuo Wakabayashi
Hideto Ishii
Shin
Kazutoshi Yamana
Yoko Satomi
Hideki Sato

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Lady Ninja Kasumi (2005)



It is the Sengoku period. Kasumi and her little brother are orphaned, and she joins the Kunoichi (lady ninja) to protect her brother and defend her new people. When one of their spies turns up dead, Kasumi doles out the revenge…

Directed by: Hiroyuki Kawasaki
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese
Subtitle: English
Year: 2005
Genre: Action / Mature 18+

Young-mi
Saki Anz
Yui Mamiya
Hideki Satô
Masato Takaoka
Kôji Maeda

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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Sotheby's Hands Back the Listing for the W Hollywood Residences

Maybe only about seven people outside of Los Angeles care about the particular turn of events we're about to dish on, but the real estate telephone wires in Lala Land have been burning up with scandal the last few days and we feel like opening up a line of discussion on the matter amongst any concerned, curious or otherwise nosy citizens.

Your Mama first heard this juicy bit of bizness last Friday while holed up at the Ace Hotel in Palm Springs where we hid out for a few extra (and unplanned) days from the dusty and near-deafening construction zone that was–and still is–Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's modest cottage in the Hollywood Hills.

From what Your Mama heard from some of our better connected sources over the last few days, Sotheby's International Realty semi-quietly and unceremoniously handed back the once-plum listing for the entire W Hollywood Residences project, a brand-new residential condominium tower in the heart Hollywood connected to the brand new, a-bit-too-glitzy and highly-stylized W Hotel Hollywood on the storied corner of Hollywood and Vine.

In an effort at journalistic integrity, Your Mama reached out to Russ Filice, the well-known lead agent from Sotheby's on the project, who would only confirm that S.I.R. will no longer be involved with the W Hollywood Residences after the 15th of April.

At that point, it seems, the high-toned brokerage will wash their hands of the not exactly successful project that has not exactly been embraced by the real estate community and the sorts of snooty design-philes who give two whits about the newly constructed hotel/condo complex. Well-heeled buyers have also, it seems, rejected the high-priced condominium because according to two of Your Mama's informants only 10 of the 143 luxury units have closed escrow. Those bone marrow-chilling numbers sound even worse when y'all consider that the W Hollywood Residences have been on the market for around a year and a half. Boo! Does that scare the real estate daylights out of anyone else?

Although we once gobbled up a couple of delicious gin & tonics in the grandiosely-scaled lobby of the W Hotel with our pal Leeahndruh Livesinahightower, Your Mama asks that all the children keep in mind that we have never stepped foot in one of the condos. Not. One. Foot. What we're saying, of course, is that we don't know diddly squat about we're talking about here. Okay? Anyhoo, on with the show anyway. According to more than one big-shit real estate agent we know in Los Angeles, the W Hollywood Residences contain far too many very expensive units–they range from around $450,000 to $3,500,000 for a penthouse pad–that feature impossibly awkward and poorly positioned elements such as structural columns running up the center of rooms. The children might be amused and/or outraged to know that there are not, according to plans presented on project's website, any closets in the (one) bedroom of unit 4L. Nearly half a million clams for a one-bedroom crib in the heart Hollywood and Your Mama has to parade our fat ol' ass past the plate-glass windows in the living room to snatch on a pair of knickers? Uh, no.

Those sorts of architectural bungles and snafus tend to really perturb deep-pocketed potential buyers looking at fancy contemporary condos with–an agent pal we know snitched–high monthly fees of more than $1.10 per square foot. Adding insult to the injury of high maintenance fees are the (allegedly) shrinking building services that conspire to keep the caps on the escrow paper signing pens of potential buyers. Por ejemplo: well-to-do residents of the condos, we were told by an informant in a position to know, we're promised private valet services. But alas, abysmal sales have resulted in reduced revenues that have in turn forced cuts in the white-glove-y services for the condo portion of the complex.

Condo residents, we understand, are now forced to wait in line with hotel guests to have their automobiles brought around by the valet. Imagine, hunny bears, the horror of having to stand behind large-butted Jerry Nebraska in a pair of plaid Bermuda shorts as he waits for the valet to bring around his rented, teal-colored Chevy Lumina. Your Mama does not care to valet our big BMW if we can help it so we wouldn't care much about this parking situation but for many Angelenos for whom valet parking is like a religion, this inconvenience is a revolting proposition.

Making matter worse, we're told, is that some of the staging in one or more of the model units is questionable, an issue that further turns off potential buyers. Yesterday, an admittedly half in the bag neighbor we'll call Willy Winedrinker dished to Your Mama that one of the staged model units has a stripper pole and platform installed in the living room. That's right, a God damn stripper pole. We can not and will not go there, children, so do not even ask Your Mama to get started on this never ever acceptable stripper pole as day-core issue because we will blow a damn gasket.

As far as we know–and we really don't know a pistachio from a vacuum–no replacement has yet to be been chosen to succeed Mister Filice. What remains to be seen, of course, is if there's any real estate agent in Los Angeles who can turn that seemingly sinking ship around before it goes down like the Titanic. Has anyone called toothy and hard-charging Josh Altman (Hilton & Hyland) from Bravo's Million Dollar Listing? Yay? Nay? Anyhoo, We make no predictions, assumptions and assertions about what will transpire but Your Mama is quite certain that all the Real Estate Chicken Littles in Tinseltown peed their pants with glee over the possibility that the much-hyped and greatly-anticipated project might go down in a hot and public conflagration of failure and bankruptcy. We shall see butter churners, we shall see.

Cee Lo Green Leases L.A. Home of Former Child Star

LESSEE: Cee Lo Green
LANDLORD: Frankie Muniz
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
SIZE: 4,200 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
PRICE: unknown.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Speaking of Christina Aguilera...

The sometimes bumbly-stumbly soon-to-be-divorced pop star, whose bright star is everyday more eclipsed by whippersnapper superstars like Lady Gaga and Rihanna, will soon attempt to revivify her faltering career as a judge on the up-coming talent-based reality show The Voice. One of X-Tina's fellow judges on The Voice is a big ol' flamboyant man named Cee Lo Green who, according to information that recently slid down the gossip grapevine and into Your Mama's iPhone, recently took a short-term lease on a celebrity-owned home in the Sunset Strip area of Los Angeles, CA.

The toothy, tattooed, smooth-pated and somewhat rotund Mister Green hails from Atlanta, GA and first burst in to the consciousness of music lovers and listeners as part of Gnarls Barkley, a collaboration between himself and DJ Danger Mouse. That hip hopper collaboration produced a couple of Grammy awards and the 2006 hit song Crazy, which became painfully ubiquitous on the sound tracks played in the shopping emporiums of every mass retailer in America. Since then Mister Cee Lo Green has nursed a solo career and recently rocketed to the top of the charts and into the musical mainstream with his aggressively titled but catchy-tuned Fuck You! Top 40 types will recognize the little ditty as one performed by singing and dancing actress Gwyneth Paltrow on an episode of the most recent season of Glee and/or from the 2010 Grammy Awards when Miz Paltrow performed the song as a duet with Mister Cee Loo Green who, the children will recall, was dressed in a damn peacock outfit that might have once made Sir Elton John seethe and ache with envy.

Anyhoo, Your Mama–who does not really know a salt shaker from a baby maker–presumes that Mister Cee Lo Green needs a place to camp out in Los Angeles while filming the first season of The Voice. Personally, we thought Mister Green might have poo-pooed doing a reality show like this highly-stylized whoozimajig on which he's about to appear but fame and money talks, hunnies. And when fame and money cross-breed the sum is greater than its parts and has the ability to entice even the most jaded and cynical among us. Before any of y'all fame haters start blither-blathering on about how fame and fortune could never, ever corrupt your self-righteous ass just think about how wonderfully naughty and alluringly special it would be to have people ringing your people's phones off their hooks to offer little ol' you free goods and services like designer duds, first-class vacations, collagen implants and box seats with V.I.P. treatment at concerts and other events.

According to our source, a fine female we'll call Dee-Vanda Givesupthedish, Mister Cee Loo Green took a short-term lease on home just above Tinseltown's Sunset Strip owned by child star turned race car driver turned (alleged) victim and perpetrator of domestic violence Frankie Muniz.

Mister Muniz, who now lives primarily in the Phoenix/Scottsdale, AZ area, paid $3,499,000 the property back in January of 2006 according to property records. Since at least December of 2007 the formerly sweet-faced Mister Muniz been trying to unload his L.A. home. The property first came to Your Mama's attention in December of 2007 when the 4,200 square foot traditional was listed for $3,875,000. Since then the updated, upgraded and gated 5 bedroom and 4 bathroom house has been on and off the market a number of times at a couple of prices. Prior to Mister Cee Lo Green taking occupancy, the house was last listed for sale with an asking price of $3,195,000.

If all goes well with Mister Cee Lo's cross-marketing himself to the reality tee-vee world and if he isn't already out eye balling real estate we expect he'll soon be out combing the zip codes for a multi-million dollar house built for a baller.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

ANGEL CASSIDY

UPDATE: Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne

It's baaaaacckk!

Wobbly rock star Ozzy Osbourne and his steel-willed wife Sharon have once again heaved and hoisted their ocean front residence on Malibu's lovely and desirable La Costa Beach on the market, this time with an asking price of $10,000,000.

The rock and roll royals acquired the 4,500 square foot three-story residence way back in March of 2003 for $5,100,000. Your Mama's wholly unscientific research indicates that the Osbournes first unsuccessfully attempted to unload the 5 bedroom and 5 pooper sea shore property in the spring of 2006 when it was listed with an–in hind sight optimistic–asking price of $14,000,000. Since then the Mister and Missus Osbourne have had the house on and off the market a number of times with various price tags that dipped down to as low as $10,995,000.

Several times over the years the Mister and Missus Osbourne set the property out for lease. The Shabby Chic meets glitz and glam beach pad was made available for long-term lease at $25,000 per month in late 2008 and last summer the brick-built beach crib was listed for a stiff monthly rate of $40,000. Iffin Your Mama is being honest, and we always are, we'd admit that we have not an iota of information about whether anyone took a short or long-term lease on the property. What we do know, thanks to information obtained from our informant Babbling Babette, is that in addition to their desire to sell the house for ten million clams Mister and Missus Osbourne are open to a long or short term lease at $40,000 and $65,000 per month respectively.

A walled, European-style courtyard separates the house from busy and traffic-choked Pacific Coast Highway and the main living level includes an entrance hall, living room with fireplace, dining room, ocean-side terrace, powder pooper and an all-stainless steel kitchen that has Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's house gurl Svetlana apoplectic over the effort required to keep all that shiny stuff finger print (and dog nose print) free. On the second floor the master suite stretches across the entire ocean side of the house and includes a fireplace, private terrace, custom fitted walk-in closet and marble bath. Also on the second level, a road-side paneled library is jam-packed with exercise equipment. Up on the top floor there's an office and two more bedrooms each have private facilities and access to an ocean side terrace with a freestanding spa of the middlebrow variety.

After selling their crucifix-filled mansion in Beverly Hills, CA for $11,500,000 to increasingly erratic pop star Christina Aguilera and her now-estranged music executive huzband Jordan Bratman in the summer of 2007, the sometimes-controversial Osbournes decamped to the guard-gated and star-studded equestrian enclave of Hidden Hills, CA. Records and previous reports show the British ex-pats paid $10,250,000 for their horsey 10,953 square foot house that includes 6 bedrooms and 10 poopers. The Brits also maintain an estate outside Jordans in the Buckinghamshire area of England and we'd presume they have some sort of bedsit in London but, in truth, Your Mama has no confirmation or direct knowledge of such a thing.

Mister and Missus Osbourne's children all have their own homes in Los Angeles. Kelly–who often lives in London–has a wee house up behind the Chateau Marmont hotel bought in February 2005 for $1,195,000 that recently had a raw sewage situation. Jack has a small, secluded compound in the Laurel Canyon area and the oldest and less public sibling Aimee has a house in the Bird Streets above the Sunset Strip purchased by mumsy and paw-paw in June of 2007 from Grey's Anatomy actress and Tinseltown scion Jessica Capshaw for $2,350,000.

Miz Aguilera–who Your Mama heard through the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine had moved back to her house in The Bird Street area above the Sunset Strip–would like to sell the former Osbourne mansion/her former house of marital discord that she had done up and did-did-and done-did by Woodson and Rummerfield's House of Design who, we heard from a little design savvy birdie we know, are doing up Courtney Love's new (leased) digs in New York City. Miz X-Tina's six bedroom and 9 bathroom Bev Hills house was shopped around for several months off market before it officially hit the open market around March 11, 2011 with an asking price of $13,500,000.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

ASA AKIRA: BIG TITS AT SCHOOL










Gangland 77 – DVDRip

There’s an alley deep in the heard of Gangland that cute girls should never go down. An alley so forbidden that you will literally pay with your body. Your pussy will be blown out, your asshole will be relentlessly pounded and your mouth will be used as a cum dump from enormous black cocks! But then…you might like it!

Pornstar :
Angelina Black, Courtney Taylor (II), Dick James, Mark Anthony, Violet Monroe

LOOKING GOOD

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

ANGIE SAVAGE

UPDATE: Ben Stiller

SELLER: Ben Stiller
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $11,495,000
SIZE: 10 bedrooms and 11 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Way back in May of 2009 Your Mama floated the celebrity real estate rumor that comedy king Ben Stiller and his wife Christine were fixin' to float their compound in the Outpost Estates neighborhood of Los Angeles, CA on the market with an asking price of $12,500,000.

In September of the same year the property officially hit the open market with a price tag...drum roll please...of $12,500,000. Two months later the three parcel compound was withdrawn and removed from the (open) market.

In the fall of 2008, prior to all this real estate mishegas in Los Angeles, Mister and Missus Stiller spent ten million bucks to buy duplex digs in the same Upper West Side building as Mister Stiller's comedy legend parents Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara.

The couple's relocation to New York City must be official and complete because this week their lavish but comfortable-looking Hollywood Hills compound has been re-listed on the open market with a reduced asking price of $11,495,000.

Listing information for the Stiller compound–which includes a total of 10 bedrooms and 11 bathrooms between the main house, guest house and apartment above the garage–and a custom website built for the property reveal that much (if not all) of Mister and Missus Stiller's personal items have been removed and replaced with a lot of white slip covered furniture and other comestibles easily recognized as having been put in place by Staging Lady in a Pink Toyota.

Other notable property owners in the Outpost Estates 'hood include (but are not limited to) Charlize Theron, William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman, Michael C. Hall, Hugh Laurie, Orlando Bloom and the sassy-pants provocateur Gore Vidal who put his house up for sale in early 2011 with an asking price of $3,495,000.

listing photos: Everett Fenton Gidley for Sotheby's International Realty

ASA AKIRA: HIGH CLASS FUCK