NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Daniel Craig is MARRIED!!! To that SLUT Rachel Wiesz!!! When she manhandled my future-ex-husband Brendan Fraser in The Mummy, I cut her some slack since I knew they were just pretending, and also she was gorgeous and far too talented for the movie at all. When they did a sequel, and she was supposedly married to him, with an obnoxious kid, I let it slide, mostly because I spent the whole movie falling madly in love with Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, a GOD of a man whom I'd never seen before. (Love you, Mr. Eko!) When she had Hugh Jackman, my fated soulmate, in The Fountain, frankly, I started to get anoyed with her, but at least it was still just pretendsies.
But now the bitch has gone TOO FAR!! She's gone and MARRIED Daniel Craig --- FOR REAL! He's mine, once we get around to ever meeting! No wonder it was a "secret wedding"; they were hiding from ME!
What is wrong with them? They aren't gay. Don't they realize that the legalization of Gay Marriage in New York means Straight Marriage is forever sullied and desanctified? How gouche to straight marry now.
Daniel, I forgive you. Come back. (Well, not "back." We're total strangers. But you know what I mean. Come to me! Come back Shane!)
Cheers darling, and Happy Gay Marriage, New York. Today, you shame us in California.
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