Downton Labia Needs To Be Made: An Open Letter To Someone Special

Dear Producers of Quality Porn Parodies and/or Period Piece Porn (Including, but not limited to, Nica Noelle),


I am writing to draw your attention to a show that is ripe for the porn parody treatment.

Imagine a period piece set in Edwardian England, nestled between that foreboding time between the sinking of the Titantic and the First World War.

Imagine a palatial estate, lush grounds, class conflict, and sexual tension.

Imagine gentility. And the costumes. And the sexual tension. There’s a lot of it.

Imagine this is a real show. Because it is.

Imagine this show has an average viewership of 10 million folks after only one season. Because it does.

Imagine there’s already an audience for Victorian/Edwardian Porn. Because there is.

Yes, I’m talking about Downton Abbey. And yes, you have to porn parody it. Because I, and at least one other person would pay to see it.

I've spent the time writing this, imagining that sexual tension being penetrated every 20-30 minutes.

We’ve already done most of the the hard work, figuring out who will play whom. Kimberly Kane could be Anna Smith. We could bring Sasha Grey out of retirement to play Lady Mary. James Deen, who's like the Seth Rogan of porn, could be William Mason the footman. Mark Davis will play John Bates the valet. And Evan Stone is perfect as the paterfamilias, Robert Crawley.

Oh. and imagine the title: Downton Labia.

This must be done, and you must do it.

Optimistically and Warmly,

Oruba Stone

Where Oruba Watches Feminist Porn and the Like: Day #3: My Daughter's Boyfriend

Now that I've given couples/feminist/plot-driven/women-directed porn an exclusive go, it looks like James Deen is in every movie I watch. I'm not complaining; dude is good at what he does. This is a curious development though. Maybe this is why women love him so much.

 This next film comes from director Nica Noelle.  My Daughter's Boyfriend is the tale of the seduction of an older woman.

Melissa Monet, whose intriguing bio I just read and you should too, plays that older woman. She just moved to a new place with her family. Though she has a loving and lustful husband, she is unsure of herself, unsure of her sexuality, unsure of her place.

James Deen plays the titular daughter's boyfriend. He dates and fucks Trinity Post, who made me forget she's not an 18 year old nursing student but a porn star about my age, while Mom listens and masturbates in the next room. Mom Melissa Monet lusts after James Deen. But she doesn't think James finds her attractive.

She's wrong.


Things I like:

1. Kissing. Lots of kissing. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm a sucker for kissing in porn. You don't get nearly enough of it in hardcore porn.
2. James Deen. I'll be honest; there aren't many male porn stars I would follow. But James Deen is easily in the Top Three. I'm not a fan of the rape-y stuff, still I am approaching the fandom of an 18 year old girl.
3. The plot, though substantial, doesn't weigh down the sex scenes. In fact, knowing the characters' motivations adds a dimiension to the sex. I almost feel that's what had been missing from nearly ten years of exclusively watching gonzo.
4. Cumshots don't end scenes. Sex In Real Life keeps going after male orgasm, or at least it does with me. Why should porn be any different? Seeing couples continue after dude spews is refreshing to watch and validates my bedroom experiences.

Things I don't like:

1. The fucking soft focus and neutral color palate. I truly believe that this genre would be immensely more popular if it didn't resemble a Lifetime movie. Please don't tell me this is what women actually like.

Overall, a pleasurable experience. I wouldn't hesitate to watch it again.You can watch My Daughter's Boyfriend here.

Foreigner – DVDRip

Far away from home and here to visit her wild side. Naughty secrets and perverted play rule when sexy stripper Selena Rose blows into town. She comes to visit her handsome cousin Manuel Fererra who’s got a hot, horny girl in his bed every night. But this seemingly innocent girl lives a wild life and has some twisted secrets, and is ready to get it on with some of her cousin’s sexy friends like James Deen and Erik Everhard. Beautiful, lusty girls Gracie Glam and London Keyes spread wide, wanting to please these hung studs with a desperate passion, but when Manuel’s roommate stumbles across Selena in a forbidden situation things get hot and nasty.

Pornstar :

Erik Everhard, Gracie Glam, James Deen, Liza Del Sierra, London Keyes, Manuel Ferrara, Selena Rose,

Free Download Link

Titlicious 2 – DVDRip [Free Download XXX]

Titlicious 2

Titlicious 2 is packed with anal, tease, masturbation and tons of titty fucking! Mick Blue kicks off the film with a slammin scene and explodes on Alanah’s jugs as Scott gives Mason more than a mouthful of cock. A fantastic fuck fest – Titlicious 2 is the first place to look for the best breasts 

Porn Star :

Alanah Rae, Brandy Talore, James Deen, Jayden Jaymes, Manuel Ferrara, Mason Moore, McKenzie Lee, Mick Blue, Scott Nails

Free Download Link

Strict Machine – DVDRip

Digital Playgrounds’s very own Riley Steele plays the head mistress in this kinky, fetish film. A visual and sexual feast with a super fine cast, legs, stocking and lots of light bondage. Riley treats viewers to tantalizing scenes filled with heat, passion and the occasional whip and paddle. Strict Machine is a tempting ride of sexual tease and playful stimulation. After you are fully satisfied, return for the special features including a fantastic behind-the-scenes glimpse of the Digital Playground cast and crew in playful action.

Pornstar :

Erik Everhard, Isis Taylor, James Deen, Kagney Linn Karter, Manuel Ferrara, Marie McCray, Nicole Ray, Riley Steele

Free Download Link

Jesse Jane – Atomic tease – DVDRip

Pornstar :

Jesse Jane, Madison Scott, Kiki Vidis, Daisy Marie, James Deen

Free Download Link

Vivid : Capri Anderson My Little Black Book – DVDRip

When Capri gets her hands on a little black book, she soon discovers it will grant her any wish she ascribes to it. Until she discovers that wishes have limits, especially when they involve a neighbor’s spouse. Follow The Original Goddess, Capri Anderson as she makes her red hot debut as a Vivid Girl, in her first boy/girl scene ever, and in director, David Stanley’s exciting return to Vivid. And we’re even doubling down, with the awesome Russo Twins, in two awesome scenes! See the girl who turned sitcoms upside down, turn adult inside out. Capri Anderson…now on a screen near you. Even if it is in a room at The Plaza…

Pornstar :

Barry Scott, Capri Anderson, Dane Cross, Gracie Glam, James Deen, Johnny Sins, Tati Russo, Taylor Russo,

Free Download Link

Superman XXX A Porn Parody – DVDRip

They don’t call him the Man of Steel for nothing! A doomed airliner heads nose-down to the earth. Until a mild mannered Clark Kent quietly pushes past the mayhem to the back of the plane, tears off his business suit and becomes Superman, holding the plane aloft by its damaged wing and safely escorting it back to the ground. It’s Vivid latest superhero spectacular Superman XXX: A Porn Parody! With all the adventure, excitement you always enjoyed, and all the sex you ever imagined. With the hottest Lois Lane ever, doing things Lois never dreamed of, and villains like Alexis Texas and Zoe Voss at every turn! With the crime-fighting only stopping for three ways, anals, and pounding galore! It’s The hit-making team who brought you the biggest parody of 2010, taking on the man of steel and his tool of steel in Superman XXX: A Porn Parody!

Pornstar :

Alexis Texas, Andy San Dimas, Dale DaBone, Eric Masterson, Evan Stone, James Deen, Kristina Rose, Lexi Belle, Ryan Driller, Zoe Voss,

Free Download Link

Vivid : Feet First – DVDRip

When B. Skow does a foot film, he starts on the feet but doesn’t forget tits and ass, and never leaves the scene without a vigorous pussy-pounding! Watch Mr. Pete suck Brooklyn Jade’s toes, lick her feet, and let his load drip down her face! Watch foot-freak Dale Dabone fuck AJ like mad, before delivering a full-on facial she won’t soon forget! Evan Stone cleans AJ’s feet–his favorite thing–before fucking her good. And when James Deen rubs Reena’s feet, she gets soaking wet and wants his big fat cock. Like we said…B. Skow gives you the feet…and the footage.

Pornstar :

A.J. Bailey, Adriana Kelly, Brooklyn Jade, Dale DaBone, Evan Stone, James Deen, Mr. Pete, Reena Sky, Sammie Rhodes,

Free Download Link

Batman XXX: A Porn Parody – DVDRip

 Batman XXX: A Porn Parody from Vivid is a lively and lascivious porn movie spoof of an old TV show which has become a permanent part of popular American culture. Directed, produced and written by Axel Braun, a man with an excellent track record for porn adaptations, the movie entertains to the same degree that it arouses, and represents his wittiest work to date. The production is first rate, the actresses are uniformly hot and sexy and include adult superstars Tori Black and Lexi Belle, the satire succeeds on many levels. It’s an easy recommendation for adult fans, a must-see for comic book aficionados, and a must-have for porn collectors.
Read the full review for more!

Pornstar :

Alexis Texas, Andy San Dimas, Dale DaBone, Evan Stone, James Deen, Kimberly Kane, Lexi Belle, Randy Spears, Syren Sexton, Tori Black,

Free Download Link