Mariska Hargitay Double Whammy (Los Angeles)

SELLER: Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann
LOCATION: Warbler Way, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,699,000
SIZE: 2,944 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Perched atop Warbler Way is this fabulous pool home w/ 2 story guest house and bird's-eye views. Versatile floor plan boats everything from a great room, complete w/ soaring beamed ceilings, a cook's open-island kit w/ stainless appliances, LR w/ gorgeous fireplace, wood floor throughout, and open dining all surrounded by amazing windows. A loft den flows to awesome upper view deck, great for entertaining. Bonus Media room and wine room, too. All this so close to the city and an absolute must see.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Recently we discussed Vincent D'Onofrio's New York City apartment and Your Mama complained about how ev-er-ee time we turn on the television one of these damn Law and Order programs comes on scaring the devil out of us with all the axe murderers and pedophiles. And now, just a week later we can't turn out our computer without getting tips and information about another ack-tress from the television juggernaut that is the Law and Order franchise.

See babies, Mariska Hargitay, who plays tough detective Olivia Benson, is selling both her New York and Los Angeles residences. We will be bringing the children information on both places, but first Your Mama is going to walk you through a little history of Beverly Hills real estate as it relates to our discussion of Miss Mariska.

Hargitay, for those of you who live in a hole, has Hollywood royalty running in her veins as she is the daughter of Mr Universe Micky Hargitay and sex bomb Jayne Mansfied. In 1967 wee little Mariska, along with her two brothers were in the back seat of an automobile when it collided with an insecticide truck just outside Biloxi, Mississippi. Tragically, Mansfield and two others were killed instantly.

For better or worse, Mansfield was an early model for such "celebrities" as recently deceased Anna Nicole Smith, Zsa Zsa Gabor, and of course, the almost inconceivable Angelyne. The platinum blond with the mammoth mammaries was more famous for her lavish lifestyle and outlandish behavior than for her cinematic career. In 1961 Mansfield and Mr. Universe bought a large Spanish Colonial style house at 10100 Sunset Boulevard for $74,000. The 8 bedroom/13 bathroom house, originally built in the 1920s for Rudy Vallee, became the first childhood home of baby Mariska.

The couple set about turning their new home into a Hollywood extravaganza. The house was given the moniker "The Pink Palace" after Mansfield had it painted a soft shade of pink. The house famously glistened and sparkled because the pink paint was mixed with crushed sandstone which refracted the sunlight when it shone on the house. While that sounds lovely, Your Mama is concerned that might have been a hazard to the drivers on Sunset Boulevard.

The house quickly because a tourist trap. Cars and buses would slow down and stop out front so the people could gawk and guffaw at the big wrought iron gates that featured the initials "JM" centered in her signature heart shape. Mansfield loved the attention and would often step out onto a balcony facing Sunset to preen and wave to her adoring fans.

The most unusual and notable feature of the house was without doubt the spectacularly kooky heart-shaped pool with the words "I love you Jaynie" spelled out in mosaics on the bottom (see photo below.) That pool is so over the top Your Mama can't help but love it.

On a side note, Mansfield's may have been the first, but it was not the only heart shaped pool in Los Angeles. Aging radio head Casey Kasem and his freaky wife Jean (who oddly enough styles herself after Ms. Mansfield) live in a house over on N. Mapleton Drive that also has a heart shaped pool.

Directly behind The Pink Palace was Owlwood, another very famous and fabled estate that was once owned by Tony Curtis and later Sonny and Cher. Across the road from The Pink Palace was the one time Esther Williams Colonial style mansion with it's startling, but not surprisingly, large swimming pool.

After Mansfield's death, The Pink Palace is said to have been variously occupied by Mama Cass and Ringo Starr. Your Mama can not confirm those occupants, but we do know that cheese ball crooner Englebert Humperdinck purchased The Pink Palace and occupied it for 17 years before selling it in 2002 to the owner of Owlwood. Mansfield's beloved Pink Palace, as well as the Esther Williams house, were demolished by the owner of Owlwood in order to create a monstrous 10 acre estate for himself.

Anyhoo, Your Mama seriously digressed there, but we wanted the children to know what sort of real estate world Mariska Hargity was born into. And from the photos anyone can see Miss Mariska does not have the same extravagant taste as her mama.

Miss Mariska and her sexy huzband Peter Hermann purchased this house only in January 2006 for $1,560,000. The couple must be intense negotiators as the house had been on the market for $2,250,000.

Like just about everyone else in Los Angeles, Your Mama appreciates and covets the Bird Street location of this house. But we do have a few concerns. From the front, the house appears to be just two stories. But this is deceiving as the back this house drops down the canyon making it more than four floors tall.

It can't be seen in the photographs here, but there is a terrace off the top floor master bedroom. While we imagine the views are astounding, Your Mama worries about our vertigo acting up while this high off the ground.

And of course, Your Mama could never live in a house with this many stairs. Why didn't someone think to install an elevator here? Lawhd children it would take Your Mama two whole days and an oxygen tank to climb all the damn stairs from the swimming pool on the lowest level to the master bedroom at the top. Of course, most people in Los Angeles are health and exercise nuts so perhaps they see this sort of set up as a way to further tone their booties. Not Your Mama. We would rather sit on the sofa watching reruns of The Golden Girls and eating Girl Scout cookies than break a sweat trying to get up and down the stairs to the terlit.

Interestingly, this house is just around the corner from Fawn Hall's place (which we discussed here). Your Mama wonders if these two ever called each other up to complain about the neighbors garbage cans or had each other over for a couple of beers by the pool.

We're sorry to say the lackluster decor of the house leaves us feeling empty. The more we look at the photos the more we think the place looks (not very well) staged. The primary reason, as our loyal reader Stormy pointed out to us, is that wretched PEAR painting hanging in the kitchen. We found one of these abominations in Cher's flip in Palm Springs and we found another in Brad and Angelina's new place in Nawlins. And now we find another up in Miss Marishka's house in Los Angeles. Lawhd children, is there a cabal of gay decorators and stagers out there trying to kill Your Mama with these upsetting and unconscionable pieces of shit? Seriously, this has to stop.

Anyhoo, perhaps this property was just an investment and the couple is flipping it like so many other Hollywood types looking to make a quick million bucks? Or maybe they bought this place without considering the difficulty in finding a nanny for the new baby who would be willing to hike up and down all those stairs? Whatever the case, this family is indeed moving on, likely to a more family friendly house and one, we're guessing, with a little better security than this one.

Sources: Abingdon Virgina News, Find A Death