Wednesday, March 5, 2008

UPDATE: Guccione's Double Wide Porn Palace

New York Observer real estate gossip and reporter Max Abelson reported yesterday that the double wide townhouse on East 67th Street that once belonged to porn king Bob Guccione has fi-na-lee sold for for a heavy duty purchase price of $49,000,000. It should come as no surprise to anyone that the buyer of the tremendous townhouse is a hedge fund honcho whose name is Philip Falcone.

Now that word of the pricey purchase has hit the gossip grapevine, Your Mama imagines that the princess phone of Missus Falcone–whom we hope will spend the next few weeks supervising a serious cleaning–is ringing off the hook with courtesy and congratulatory calls from the wispy assistants of every big name decorator north of 59th Street and East of Fifth Avenue who hopes to secure a place in the heart, mind and Birkin bag of the filty rich ladee who is now in serious need of a flotilla of furniture and antique rugs to fill all 27 rooms of her new and ridiculously ornate mansion.

In an effort to divert attention away from its lurid and pornographic past, the townhouse was renamed from Guccione Mansion to Milbank Mansion. Even still, the palatial pile languished on the market with at least two of Manhattan's hoity toity-est real estate agents and a variety of asking prices rumored to be as absurdly high as $99,000,000.

Sometime in early 2007 the porn palace was given a $59,000,000 price tag and there it sat until along came Mister Falcone with his $49,000,000 deal (which appears, not surprisingly, to be all cash). Laurus Funds, the entity who took control of the property in an ugly foreclosure situation in 2006, wisely decided it simply wasn't going to get better than that. And who could blame the after wrestling with this marble floored white elephant for almost two years?

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