Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Mitt Romney Slims His Real Estate Portfolio

SELLER: Mitt Romney
LOCATION: Rising Star Lane, Park City, UT
PRICE: $5,250,000
SIZE: 9,514 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 8 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...designed to fit perfectly on the almost 11 acres surrounding it. Views of the Jordanelle Reservoir and the Uinta Mountains and a perfect location at the end of a private cul-de-sac, this unique post & beam home is a perfect retreat for you and your family. Several gathering areas provide enough space for lots of family and/or guests. The home will be sold fully furnished.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: According to The Boston Globe, the ridiculously rich and meticulously coiffed former Republican presidential hopeful and former governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney has decided to slim his fat real estate portfolio by selling two of his four fancy homes. All set to be sold are his primary mansion in Belmont, Massachusetts–which does not yet appear to be on the open market–and his 10+ acre ski getaway in posh Park City, Utah which was recently listed with an asking price of $5,250,000.

Property records for the post and beam extravaganza show it measures in at 9,514 square feet while listing information indicates that the architect's blue prints for the property show a slightly larger 10,008 square feet. Whatever the case, the house is huge and we shudder at what it costs to heat the damn thing in the winter.

Listing information reveals the rustic but undeniably lavish multi-story residence that appears to spill down the forested hillside was built in 1999 and includes seven bedrooms and 8 full and 2 half bathrooms. Presumably Mister and Missus Romney have a reliable terlit gurl in the area they can call when they're coming to down with 10 or 12 family members or friends.

Several large rooms with high peaks and a forest's worth of massive and muscular rough hewn beams provide plenty of space to impress and entertain family and friends. A gigantic living room features a monolithic river rock fireplace and custom made furniture that is being sold with the house. In fact, listing information says all the furniture as well as the custom made fancy fixturing is being sold with the house. We hope that does not include mattresses because, frankly, Your Mama thinks that's unsanitary at best and downright disgusting at worse. Don't laugh children, there are people who actually buy their mattresses used on Craig's List. Sad, but true.

Anyoo, A formal dining room easily seats 10 or 12 and the adjacent kitchen looks like the Little House on the Prairie took a vat of steroids like that A-Rod fellow who is finally coming clean about his illicit relationship with performance enhancing drugs. But we digress and that's really another sordid story for another day.

A large den/family room hosts a huge green leather sectional sofa that surrounds a cowhide covered coffee table. The rather cozy and western looking seating groupe is perfectly placed across from one of the houses many wood burning fireplaces and an old-school big screen tee-vee. Although it appears that anyone taller than five foot four would brain themselves on the beamed ceiling in this room, Your Mama suspects it's only the way the photograph was taken.

The master suite has more sky high ceilings, giant windows looking out towards the Jordanelle Reservoir and Uinta Mountains and a fireplace for all those romantic types who think making love on a bear skin rug while a blizzard blows outside is sexy and hot. However, it appears to Your Mama that the Romney's sorta chintzed out on the day-core in the master bedroom because it's all a little hodge-podge and rough around the edges. The master bathroom is all river rock and twigs and gives Your Mama the shivers. And not in a good way. This sort of fantasy bathroom day-core is fine and fantastic in dee-lightfully eccentric resort hotels like The Madonna Inn. However, it's really rather disturbing in a private home, even if it is one that's only used a few weekends a year during ski season.

Mister and Missus Romney continue to own a lavish lake front property on Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire and last year, after bailing out of the presidential race, the cash rich couple forked over a whopping $12,000,000 for an oceanfront crib in the swish seaside town La Jolla, CA. A mouthpiece for the Romney's told The Boston Globe that although the pair are downsizing it is not due to a faltering financial situation resulting from the drastic downturn in the economy or the $42,000,000 of his own money he spent on his failed presidential campaign. The flak goes on to reveal that the couple intends to purchase a condo somewhere in Massachusetts which they plan to call their official residence. That seems fishy to Your Mama; A condo as their official residence when they're used to living in big ol' mansions? We'd bet one (and just one) of our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that Mister Romney starts spending more time in La Jolla...for political reasons. Of course, we know not a thing about his plans. Let's just call it a hunch and see what happens.

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